Violin Jokes
What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
There is no difference. The violin just looks smaller because the violinist's head is so much bigger.
Why are viola jokes so short?
So violinists can understand them.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can't get up that high!
String players' motto: ``It's better to be sharp than out of tune.''
Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
Both are offensive and inaccurate.
Did you hear about the violist who bragged that he could play 32nd notes?
The rest of the orchestra didn't believe him, so he proved it by playing one.
Why don't viola players suffer from piles (hæmorrhoids)?
Because all the assholes are in the first violin section.
What's the difference between a fiddle and a violin?
No-one minds if you spill beer on a fiddle.