Soprano Jokes:
If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first? (two answers)
The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.
Who cares?
What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
What do you say to a soprano at the door?
It doesn't matter what you say, she still won't know when to come in.
What's the difference between a soprano and a piranha?
The lipstick.
What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
The jewellery.
How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?
Four--one to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.
What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and the average All-Pro offensive lineman?
Stage makeup.
What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
About 10 pounds.
How is a soubrette different from a sewer rat?
Some people actually like sewer rats.
What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra?
One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile.
How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
The horses seem very relieved.
What's the first thing a soprano does in the morning?
Gets up and goes home.
What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
A jazz musician dies and goes to heaven. He is told ``Hey man, welcome! You have been elected to the Jazz All-Stars of Heaven--right up there with Satchmo, Miles, Django, all the greats. We have a gig tonight. Only one problem--God's girlfriend gets to sing.''