How should we motivate ourselves in negative circumstances?

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Sorry for the delay in my response dear Kakashi-san. Actually, I was out of station and could not check the mails.

Well, I need some more time to reply to your doubt. I just don't want to kill the momentum. You may go ahead dear.

Thanks

[Kakashi]

It's allright, Neeraj-san. I was out of town as well last week, so I guess we're even.
I'll be eagerly waiting for your reply.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Dear Kakashi-san,

Let me share with you one of the African Probverb.

=======================================
Every morning in Africa, a gazelle awakens. He has only one thought on his mind: To be able to run faster than the fastest lion. If he cannot, then he will be eaten.

Every morning in Africa a lion awakens. He has only one thought on his mind: To be able to run faster than the slowest gazelle. If he cannot, he will die of hunger.

Whether you choose to be a gazelle or a lion is of no consequence. It is enough to know that with the rising of the sun, you must run. And you must run faster than you did yesterday or you will die.

This is the race of life.
=======================================
When you ask me - "What happens if the other door of happiness doesn't open when one closes?"

I start corelating it with HOPE. When we wake up in the morning, we should have hope for something good happening with us. Once we lose hope, we die.

In the above story, both the gazelle and the lion have hope that they are going to survive in this race of life. This is the hope that fills them with energy.

Just to sum up - There is a life before we die. Don't tell me, what life is, cause I don't really wanna know. Don't tell me how this game ends, we'll just see how it goes... '

[Kakashi]

I see your point of view and understand it. You count in hope. You hope that things will work out well everyday, without being certain; you have faith in life and I respect that.
But, the truth is that life is bittersweet - more bitter than sweet, actually - and hope alone is not always enough. We can still hope, but if our hopes/ dreams never come true, then it is only logical that we stop dreaming/ hoping. And that's were the cynical part of our life begins.
I'm not saying that I'm happy about that. I would like to hope and dream as well, but I know that what I hope for, what I dream for, is just not going to happen.
So I give up. I gave up some time ago. And I think that (unfortunately) many people have given up as well.

Just my humble thoughts.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Thanks for showing respect towards my thoughts dear Kakashi-san. You would be surprised to know that I feel so much motivated by reading the quote in your signature "Die. It's the last thing I'll do. ". It is so true and quite near in meaning when I say - "Don't tell me, what life is, cause I don't really wanna know. Don't tell me how this game ends, we'll just see how it goes.

We have so much similarity in a way we think, even at this topic we differ due to our different experiences in our life. This is what I can think at this point in time. Let me share with you one of the philosophy from one of the religious book called "Gita" It contains Lord Krishna's preachings on 'Karma'- This has influenced many. Hope its sayings would help you as well.

One of the most important saying is - In this world, we have come for some purpose. We should only concentrate over doing all the good things in life without caring for the results.

Hope I am not confusing you

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

There Are No Vans
By Anthony Robbins

I remember one Thanksgiving when our family had no money and no food, and someone came knocking on our door. A man was standing there with a huge box of food, a giant turkey and even some pans to cook it in. I couldn't believe it. My dad demanded, "Who are you? Where are you from?"

The stranger announced, "I'm here because a friend of yours knows you're in need and that you wouldn't accept direct help, so I've brought this for you. Have a great Thanksgiving."

My father said, "No, no, we can't accept this." The stranger replied "You don't have a choice," closed the door and left.

Obviously that experience had a profound impact on my life. I promised myself that someday I would do well enough financially so that I could do the same thing for other people. By the time I was eighteen I had created my Thanksgiving ritual. I like to do things spontaneously, so I would go out shopping and buy enough food for one or two families. Then I would dress like a delivery boy, go to the poorest neighborhood and just knock on a door. I always included a note that explained my Thanksgiving experience as a kid. The note concluded, "All that I ask in return is that you take good enough care of yourself so that someday you can do the same thing for someone else." I have received more from this annual ritual than I have from any amount of money I've ever earned.

Several years ago I was in New York City with my new wife during Thanksgiving. She was sad because we were not with our family. Normally she would be home decorating the house for Christmas, but we were stuck here in a hotel room.

I said, "Honey, look, why don't we decorate some lives today instead of some old trees?" When I told her what I always do on Thanksgiving, she got excited. I said, "Let's go someplace where we can really appreciate who we are, what we are capable of and what we can really give. Let's go to Harlem!" She and several of my business partners who were with us weren't really enthusiastic about the idea. I urged them: "C'mon, let's go to Harlem and feed some people in need. We won't be the people who are giving it because that would be insulting. We'll just be the delivery people. We'll go buy enough food for six or seven families for thirty days. We've got enough. Let's just go do it! That's what Thanksgiving really is: Giving good thanks, not eating turkey. C'mon. Let's go do it!"

Because I had to do a radio interview first, I asked my partners to get us started by getting a van. When I returned from the interview, they said, "We just can't do it. There are no vans in all of New York. The rent-a-car places are all out of vans. They're just not available."

I said, "Look, the bottom line is that if we want something, we can make it happen! All we have to do is take action. There are plenty of vans here in New York City. We just don't have one. Let's go get one."

They insisted, "We've called everywhere. There aren't any."

I said, "Look down at the street. Look down there. Do you see all those vans?" They said, "Yeah, we see them."

"Let's go get one," I said. First I tried walking out in front of vans as they were driving down the street. I learned something about New York drivers that day: They don't stop; they speed up.

Then we tried waiting by the light. We'd go over and knock on the window and the driver would roll it down, looking at us kind of leery, and I'd say, "Hi. Since today is Thanksgiving, we'd like to know if you would be willing to drive us to Harlem so we can feed some people." Every time the driver would look away quickly, furiously roll up the window and pull away without saying anything.

Eventually we got better at asking. We'd knock on the window, they'd roll it down and we'd say, "Today is Thanksgiving. We'd like to help some underprivileged people, and we're curious if you'd be willing to drive us to an underprivileged area that we have in mind here in New York City." That seemed slightly more effective but still didn't work. Then we started offering people $100 to drive us. That got us even closer, but when we told them to take us to Harlem, they said no and drove off.

We had talked to about two dozen people who all said no. My partners were ready to give up on the project, but I said, "It's the law of averages: Somebody is going to say yes." Sure enough, the perfect van drove up. It was perfect because it was extra big and would accommodate all of us. We went up, knocked on the window and we asked the driver, "Could you take us to a disadvantaged area? We'll pay you a hundred dollars."

The driver said, "You don't have to pay me. I'd be happy to take you. In fact, I'll take you to some of the most difficult spots in the whole city." Then he reached over on the seat and grabbed his hat. As he put it on, I noticed that it said, "Salvation Army." The man's name was Captain John Rondon and he was the head of the Salvation Army in the South Bronx.

We climbed into the van in absolute ecstasy. He said, "I'll take you places you never even thought of going. But tell me something. Why do you people want to do this?" I told him my story and that I wanted to show gratitude for all that I had by giving something back.

Captain Rondon took us into parts of the South Bronx that make Harlem look like Beverly Hills. When we arrived, we went into a store where we bought a lot of food and some baskets. We packed enough for seven families for thirty days. Then we went out to start feeding people. We went to buildings where there were half a dozen people living in one room: "squatters" with no electricity and no heat in the dead of winter surrounded by rats, cockroaches and the smell of urine. It was both an astonishing realization that people lived this way and a truly fulfilling experience to make even a small difference.

You see, you can make anything happen if you commit to it and take action. Miracles like this happen every day-even in a city where "there are no vans."

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

I Am Happy Today.
Each morning when you open your eyes; say to yourself,

You and not the day's events,
have the power, to make you happy or unhappy today.
You can choose which it shall be.

Yesterday is dead,tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
You have just one day. Today.

When you start your day;
Tell yourself, "I am going to be happy today."

Change Your Tomorrow
Do not worry about yesterday, It's past and it will never change.
Do not worry about tomorrow, It's anyway going to be there.

You cannot make the most of tomorrow, without first making the most of today.
You can change your tomorrow, only by changing your today.

[CFE_AnCiEnT__]

I got a simple way about dealing with negative circumstances, I just put the circumstances back on who ever put them on me; I share the negativity. If not I make the person who gave the negativity to me feel even worse.

Other than that, I mostly don't worry about anything.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Thats' one of the easiest as well as most difficult way to handle any negative circumstances when you say "I mostly don't worry about anything."

Many of us unconsciously believe that we're unworthy. We adopt this belief very early in our lives, when the people we looked up to disapprove our demands, wishes and behaviours. We conclude then conclude that we are no good.

The greatest disapproval is not when others put you down, it is when you put down yourself.

"Optimism is essential to achievement and it is also the foundation of courage and true progress."

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Encouraging Kelly
by Seema Renee Gersten

It was my very first teaching job, and I was anxious to make an excellent first impression. I had been hired to lead a vibrant group of four-year-olds. As the parents escorted children into the room, I attempted to deal with crying kids, teary-eyed moms and tense dads. Finally, I managed to seat the kids on the carpet and we were ready to start our "morning circle time."

We were in the middle of a rousing rendition of "Old McDonald" when the door opened and a mysterious woman entered the room. She stood next to the door quietly observing the children and me. My voice and smile never faltered, but quite frankly I was very nervous. Who is this woman? Why is she here? What exactly is she observing? When I looked up again she was gone.

The day went relatively smoothly, but by the time the last child was picked up, I was physically and emotionally drained. I longed for a nonfat latte, some Chopin and a bubble bath. Then my director came in and asked to meet with me before I left for the day.

My heart raced. Did this have anything to do with the woman who had observed my class? Did I choose the wrong songs? Was the circle time too long? Too short? By the time I reached the office, I was an emotional wreck. I sat perched on the edge of my seat and waited for the axe to fall. My director told me the woman who had visited my room earlier was a potential parent to the school and was concerned about how her daughter would function in a regular classroom. Her little girl was born with a birth defect that required she wear leg braces from the knees down. The child was ambulatory but walked very slowly with a lopsided gait. She would need to be carried out to the yard and back to the classroom. Her balance was poor, and she had a tendency to topple over if she was jostled, even slightly. We would need to remind the other children to be careful when walking near her so they wouldn't accidentally cause her to fall.

The director asked me how I felt about her becoming a member of my group. I was speechless. Here I was wondering if I could possibly survive a school year with fifteen of the liveliest four-year-olds in North America, and now I was being asked to take on a child with special needs? I replied that I would accept the child on a trial basis.

That night I couldn't fall asleep. I tossed and turned until morning, then drove to work with my stomach in knots. We were all gathered on the carpet for our morning circle when the door opened and the woman walked in carrying her daughter. She introduced herself as Kelly's mommy and she gingerly sat her daughter down on the edge of the carpet. Most of the children knew Kelly from synagogue and greeted her with warm, affectionate hugs. I looked at Kelly and she looked at me. "Welcome to our room, Kelly. We are so excited that you will be a member of our group."

The first day went really well; Kelly only fell over twice. After several days of carrying her to and from the yard, I thought, Why not encourage her to walk down the hallway a little by herself? I asked Kelly if she would like to try it, and she became very excited. The next day I sent the class out to the yard with my two assistants, and Kelly began her first journey down the hallway. She walked all the way to the next classroom, a total of ten feet. We were both thrilled! But my assistants were aghast that I was encouraging this poor child to walk. They pleaded with me to carry her outside and seat her on the bench so she could watch the other children run and play. "It would be so much easier," they murmured. But Kelly was persistent and eager to give it her best shot.

And so we began the strenuous task of walking daily down the hall. I winced when Kelly teetered precariously too far to the right, but she just giggled and told me not to worry, she was perfectly fine. I began to cherish our quiet moments alone in the hallway, my arms outstretched to help her regain her balance. Kelly always grinned and told me she had never felt better.

Each day Kelly and I continued our slow walk down the corridor. I charted her progress with little pencil marks on the wall. Every few days the pencil marks got farther and farther apart. Kelly's classmates started to notice and began cheering for her as she plodded along. After several weeks, Kelly made it all the way to the yard! She positively glowed as the children congratulated her with gentle pats on the back and warm hugs. My assistants were astonished and prepared a special snack in honor of Kelly's tremendous accomplishment.

Weeks passed and Kelly continued to walk out to the yard every single day. We rarely carried her as she became more independent.

One week in mid-December, Kelly was absent for several days. When I called her home I was told she was in Manhattan getting her annual checkup with her doctors. On Monday morning, when her mom brought her back to school, she inquired if I had been doing anything differently with Kelly. I wasn't quite sure what she meant. Then came the dreaded question: "Have you been forcing Kelly to walk?"

I was dumbfounded. Maybe I shouldn't have encouraged Kelly to walk to the yard every day. Maybe I had caused permanent damage to her weakened legs. Maybe Kelly would need to be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

I very softly told Kelly's mom that I had encouraged her to walk outside to the yard by herself. I explained that she seemed to enjoy walking independently. The mother gently lifted Kelly's dress to show me that Kelly's knee braces had been replaced with ankle braces.

"Her legs have gotten more exercise in the past few months than in the past four years of her life." She looked at me with tears in her eyes. "I don't know how to thank you for everything you have done for my daughter."

I hugged her. "Having Kelly as a member of my group has been a privilege."

Seventeen years later, I still think back to the first time Kelly made it down the long hallway. Whenever I have a bad day teaching and life seems too overwhelming, I think of Kelly and her exuberant smile as she painstakingly walked down that hallway. She taught me that no obstacle in life is too big to overcome. You just need to keep working at it-one step at a time.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Any change, any loss, does not make us victims.
Others can shake you, surprise you or disappoint you.
But they can't prevent you from moving on.

No matter where you are in life, no matter what your situation,
you can always do something.

On every turn of life, you will always have a choice.
And that choice can be your power.

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

Journeys end,Friends depart.
Every phase of life comes to an end.
But every end is also a new beginning.
It is a new chapter waiting to open.

It's up to you what you want to think about,
The End or the New Beginning!!

"Desire, ask, believe, receive."
- Stella Terrill Mann

[http://neerajsingh.bizhat]

A good story for all of us to follow in our careers

Once upon a time a Washerman was bringing up two donkeys. Let us say Donkey-A and Donkey-B.

Donkey-A felt it was very energetic and could do better than the other. It always tried to pull the washerman's attraction over it by taking more load and walking fast in front of him.

Innocent Donkey-B is normal, so it will walk normal, irrespective of the washerman's presence. After a period of time, Washerman started pressurising Donkey-B to be like Donkey-A.

But Donkey-B unable to walk fast, got continuous punishment from washerman. It was crying and told personally to Donkey-A "Dear friend, only we two are here, why to compete with each other....we can carry equal load at normal speed -".

That made Donkey-A all the more energetic and next day it told to washerman that it can carry more load and even it can run fast also.

Obviously happier washerman looked at Donkey-B.., his BP raised and he started kicking Donkey-B. Next day with smile, Donkey-A carried more load and started running fast. But it was breathtaking for Donkey-B and it couldn't act that way....But the washerman was frustrated, so he harassed Donkey-B terribly, and finally it fell down hopelessly.

Then Donkey-A felt itself as a supremo and happily started carrying more load with great speed. But now the Load of the Donkey-B is also being carried by Donkey-A.,and still it has to run fast. For some period it did, finally due to fatigue it got tired and started feeling the pain. But washerman expected more from Donkey-A.

It also tried best, but couldn't cope up with his owners demand. The Washerman got angry with Donkey-A also and started harassing to take more load...Donkey-A was crying for long time and then tried its best...But it couldn't meet the owner's satisfaction. Finally the day came when due to frustration the washerman killed Donkey-A and went for searching some other Donkeys.

Its an endless story..........

But the moral of the Story in Corporate life is......,

"Think all projectmates are same and that everyone is capable.... Always share the Load equally..... Don't ever act smart in front of your Boss and never try for getting over-credit...

And most importantly, Never Work Hard, Work Cleverly.....

[Guttu]

@neeraj

[CFE_AnCiEnT__]

How can you just unconciously decide something; I know somethings like sleep can be unconcious and addictions as well, but you and everyone should be able to not worry about something. I'm scared out of my mind right now because I have ajudication tomorrow for my school orchestra, but I'm not worried that were gonna suck or anything. Right now I need to get my concert cloaths already for me to take to school.

The negative circumstances may show up from the judges, but there are judges who do not give out appropriate ratings because they are snobby etc...

Anyway I will be faced with a negative circumstance tomorrow; I will proably be home from 7:30 - 8:00 I may have to wait for my ride to show up and freeze to death waiting for them. You shouldn't care about it; you shouldn't conclude in your unconcious mind that you are not worthy to be given a ride.

If you want to stop some unconcious acts, but down the cigerette and stop. Cold turkey; I must be gifted to just stop doing something that I could have been doing for along time. My mom unfortunately is not like me. She gives in to her addictions and lies etc... It buggs me that people can't just stop. I hope the rest of you can just stop without any questions asked.