Drinking jokes

[shihab1919]

A High School Boy...
A High School Boy once found a book in the school library whose cover read "HOW TO HUG" was delighted to take it home.
On opening it, he was disappointed to discover it was volume seven of an encyclopedia.

[shihab1919]

A Wise Old Man
A wise old man who was a judge, was asked to settle a dispute between two brothers about the fair division of a large estate left them by their father.
"Let one brother divide the estate," said the judge," and let the other brother have the first choice in choosing his share."

[shihab1919]

Coincidence
In a kindergarten school, a teacher asked her class to give examples of coincidence.
There was a long silence, then a small boy said: "My father & my mother were married the same day."

[shihab1919]

Novel
A BLONDE is in the library , she bangs down a book and says :" too boring, too many characters and no story.
LIBRARIAN says : oh! U r the one who took the phone directory away??

[shihab1919]

Score
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science."

[shihab1919]

Score
Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, "Daddy! Daddy! I got a 100 in school today!"
"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy.
"Come in to the living room and tell me about it."
"Well," began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in maths and 20 in science."

[shihab1919]

HOME
A BLONDE tells her boyfriend, "Come home tomorrow, no one will be at home."
When he goes the next day to her home.......
Her door was locked.

[shihab1919]

Blunder
"James", said Martha, "it is our silver anniversary next tuesday. We should mark the occasion. Shall we kill the pig?"
The husband replied, "Kill the pig! What's the good of murdering an innocent pig for a blunder that happened twenty-five years ago?"

[shihab1919]

Vacation with pay
When Arthur Brisbane was about to complete fifty years of journalism, Mr. Hearst, his employer, urged him to take a six month vacation with pay. This magnanimous offer Brisbane refused to accept, saying there were two reasons for his doing so.
"The first reason, "he said," is that I quit writing my daily column for six months, it might affect the circulation of your daily newspaper, the second is that it might not affect the circulation."

[shihab1919]

Sunday School
A big advertising man had a small daughter who came home from Sunday School one day carrying a bundle of pamphlets and cards.
"And what do you have there?" asked the man. "Oh, nothing much," answered the little girl. "Just some ads about heaven."