Ideas for a Bridegroom's Speech

[admin]

Why does a woman work for 10 years to change a man's habits, and then complain he's not the man she married?

Many people say that your wedding day is the happiest day of your life. So, if that's the case, I'd like to ask the husbands amongst you, does that mean it's all downhill from here?

I remember the first time _____ and I dated. When I arrived at the house, her father said she was just putting the finishing touches to her make-up and would be down presently. Then he added, "Fancy a game of chess while you're waiting?

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classified: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got myself two girlfriends.

Our parents helped us in every way, our friends encouraged us, and my girlfriend was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me and that was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when quite near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family." The moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.

Being a husband is a whole-time job. That is why so many husbands fail. They cannot give their entire attention to it - Arnold Bennett

'Grow old along with me, The best is yet to be.' - Robert Burns

I'd like to thank you for your presence and thank you for your presents - Steve Harris wedding speech in its entirety.

So there you are. I hope that you enjoy being a Bride Groom and enjoy the wedding. Good luck with the speech!

[admin]

A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As ____ undressed for bed, her husband (who was a burly bruiser) tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here, put these on." She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. "I can't wear your pants," she said. "That's right," said the husband, "and don't you ever forget it. I'm the man who wears the pants in this family!" With that, she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He tried them on, and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps. He said, "Hell, I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right and that's the way it's going to be until your damn attitude changes.

[admin]

I'm told that the best speech makers follow three simple rules. Stand Up. Speak Up. Then, very quickly, Shut Up. I'll try to stick to that advice.

[admin]

The brain is a wonderful thing. It never stops functioning from the time you're born until the moment you stand up to make a speech. - Herbert V Prochnow and Herbert V Prochnow Jnr