More Joke

[Satitay]

A white woman walks into a sex shop and approaches the counter.
She asks, "How much for the white dildo?" The clerk answers,
"$35" She then asks, "How much for the black one?" "$35 for
the black one too", replies the clerk.

"I think I'll take the black one. I've never had a black one
before." She pays him, and off she goes.

A little bit later a black woman comes in and asks "How much
for the black dildo?" $35 comes the response. And how much for
the white one?" "$35" he replies again.

"Hmmm...I think I'll take the white one. I've never had a white
one before." She pays him, and off she goes.

About an hour later a young blonde woman comes in and asks,
"How much are your dildos?" "$35 for the white, $35 for the
black."

"Hmmmmm....how much is that plaid one on the shelf?" asked
the Blonde.

"Well, that's a very special dildo...it'll cost you $85."

She thinks for a moment and answers, "I'll take the plaid one,
I've never had a plaid one before." She pays him, and off she
goes.

Finally, the guy's boss returns and asks, "How did you do
while I was gone?" To which the saleman responded, "I did
really good, I sold one white dildo, one black dildo, and I
sold your thermos for $85!"

[Satitay]

A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from
his mother asking him to send her a current photo of himself
in his new location.

Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist
colony, he cuts a photo in half and sends her the top part.

Later he receives another letter asking him to send a picture
to his grandmother. The man cuts another picture in half, but
accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.

He is really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong
half, but then remembers how bad his grandmother's eyesight
is, and hopes she won't notice.

A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother.

It says..... "Thank you for the picture. You should change
your hair style....it makes your nose look too short!"

[Satitay]

The young man went to the doctor, complaining of an awful lisp. Giving
him a thorough examination, the doctor determined that his problem was
the size of his member: It was so large that it was actually pulling his
tongue off center.

Performing an emergency operation, the physician shortened the organ and
sent the man on his way. Several weeks later, the patient returned,
complaining that while his lisp was gone, his sex life had also gone
down the tubes, "I'd like my penis back," he said mournfully.


At this, the doctor looked him straight in the eye and said, "Thcrew you."

[Satitay]

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.

During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.

The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"

[Satitay]

ALWAYS GIVE 100% AT WORK.....

12% Monday
23% Tuesday
40% Wednesday
20% Thursday
5% Friday

[Satitay]

One day a city dweller decided to take a ride in the country.
He hopped into his fancy, imported sportscar, zipped out along
the big highway for a while, then got off and drove along a
very rural dirt road in the middle of farm country. After a
while, he came across a farmer who was out in the fields,
driving a tractor. Funny thing was, the farmer didn`t seem to
be wearing any pants.

"Hey farmer, how come you`re not wearing any pants?" "Well,
city boy, th` other day I went out a-workin` in the fields, an`
I plum fergot t` wear mah shirt. Got back to th` house that
night, and mah neck was stiffer than a oak-wood board.

Now this here`s mah wife`s idea."

[Satitay]

The following is supposedly a true story. To be included, besides being true, the story is most likely strange, weird, surprising, or funny.

A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.

During one trip, the driver droped her at a mall before he gasing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.

The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"

[Satitay]

Working at a theater box-office ticket window poses many challenges in dealing with people.

When a disgruntled customer at a window exclaimed, "No Tickets?" What do you mean NO TICKETS?"

The women waiting on him smiled sweeting. "I'm terribly sorry, sir," she replied. "Which word didn't you understand?"

[Satitay]

Billy was excited about his first day at school. So excited
in fact, that only a few minutes after class started, he
realised that he desparately needed to go to the bathroom.

So Billy raised his hand politely to ask if he could be
excused. Of course the teacher said yes, but asked Billy to
be quick.

Five minutes later Billy returned, looking more desperate
and embarrassed. "I can't find it", he admitted.

The teacher sat Billy down and drew him a little diagram to
where he should go and asked him if he will be able to find
it now. Billy looked at the diagram, said "yes" and goes on
his way.

Well five minutes later he returned to the class room and
says to the teacher "I can't find it".

Frustrated, the teacher asked Tommy, a boy who has been at
the school for awhile, to help him find the bathroom.

So Tommy and Billy go together and five minutes later they
both return and sit down at their seats. The teacher asks
Tommy "Well, did you find it?" Tommy is quick with his
reply: "Oh sure, he just had his boxer shorts on backwards"

[Satitay]

A police officer pulls over a car with a young blonde driver
in it....
Cop: "Miss, this is a 65 MPH highway, why are you going so
slowly?"

Blonde: "Officer, I saw a lot of signs saying 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh miss, that's not the speed limit, that's the name
of the highway you're on!"

Blonde: "Oh! Stupid me! Thank's for letting me know, Ill be
more careful from now on."

At this point the cop looks into the back seat of the car,
where the passengers are shaking and white as ghosts.

Cop: "Excuse me miss, what's wrong with your friends back
there? They're shaking something aweful."

Blonde: "Oh... We just got off of highway 119".