MISTAKES ON A RESUME these are hilarious!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

These are from actual resumes:

"I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please don't let them know
of my immediate availability."

Qualifications:
"I am a man filled with passion and integrity, and I can act on short
notice. I'm a class act and do not come cheap."

"I intentionally omitted my salary history. I've made money and lost
money. I've been rich and I've been poor. I prefer being rich."

"Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have
never quit a job."

"Number of dependents: 40."

"Marital Status: Often.
Children: Various."


REASONS FOR LEAVING THE LAST JOB:

"Responsibility makes me nervous."

"They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 every morning.
Couldn't work under those conditions."

"Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as
cockroaches."

"I was working for my mom until she decided to move."

"The company made me a scapegoat - just like my three previous
employers."


SPECIAL REQUESTS & JOB OBJECTIVES:

"Please call me after 5:30 because I am self-employed and my employer
does not know I am looking for another job."

"My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I have no training in
meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage."


SMALL TYPOS THAT CAN CHANGE THE MEANING:

"Education: College, August 1880-May 1984."

"Work Experience: Dealing with customers' conflicts that arouse."

"Develop and recommend an annual operating expense fudget."

"I'm a rabid typist."

LOVE VICHU