(A+) t o d a y 's j o k e

**r99** · 02-22-2006, 09:21 PM

The follwing jokes are in "Deccani" which is basically a mix of hindi,
urdu and the local dialect; majorly spoken in Bangalore. They are better
appreciated in that language.

Two friends go to a theatre, buy tickets and are about to enter the hall.
One of them remembers they forgot something, and says:

"Arey, thu jaakar seetaan pakad, mein jaakar beeDi lekaathun"

----------------------

A typical admonition to kids in villages, trailing behind their mothers:

"Aarey gaDaa, gaDaa"

("gaDaa, gaDaa" is a colloquial kannada words meaning fast, it is
very common to mix kannada and Deccani indescriminately)

----------------------

#1 One jhatka-wallah is riding on his jhatka ( horse-cart ), when suddenly
a scooter rider comes and hits the jhatka. The jhatkawallah gets real
mad and he gets down from the jhatka and confronts the scooterwallah :
" Kya ma ? Tumhare paas scooteran hain, brakesan hain, vuyy kehtey
lagathey, humey kya ghode ke lund pakadna hai kya ? "
( What Sir ? You have a scooter and you have brakes and you will apply
them whenever you want; should I hold the horse's dick and stop ? )

#2 A father and a son go to a movie theatre. Just before the movie starts
the lights go dim to which :
Son: Baba, Baba ! Yeh lightsan aise kyo hallon se dimmu hotha hai ?
Dad: Yeh kya hain ki beta ! Woh plugsan haina plugsan usko halloo se
nikalthee so !
(Son: Dad ! Why do these lights slowly go dim like this ?
Dad: Son ! They remove the plugs slowly)

**http://neerajsingh.bizhat** · 02-23-2006, 06:29 AM

Good One r99 ... Lets add more to this thread that was started by pH. We have already some gr8 posts here :-)

Keep visiting to this thread more frequently :-D

pH · 02-25-2006, 06:21 AM

r99

please post jokes in English
i am English ( I think most of our members)

**http://neerajsingh.bizhat** · 02-27-2006, 10:29 AM

One politician, One thief & One Programmer died & went straight to hell.

Politician said "I miss my country. I want to call my country and see how everybody is doing there." She called and talked for about 5 minutes, then she asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Five million dollars".

The Politician wrote him a cheque and went to sit back on her chair.

Thief was so jealou! s, he starts screaming, "My turn! I wanna call the my group members, I want to see how everybody is doing there too"

He called and talked for about 2 minutes, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Ten million dollars".

With a smug look on his face, he made a cheque and went to sit back on
his chair.

Programmer was even more jealous & starts screaming, "I want to call my
IT friends too", He called other IT person and he talked for twenty hours about various technologies and Project Managers, he talked & talked & talked, then he asked "Well, devil how much do I need to pay for the call????

The devil says "Twenty dollars".

Programmer is stunned & says "Twenty dollars??? Only ??"

Devil says "Calling hell to hell is local"

pH · 02-27-2006, 02:27 PM

wah it is very funny one
thanks for sharing dude

**a-star-promotions** · 02-27-2006, 08:06 PM

lol, this is great guys :D

pH · 03-10-2006, 02:20 PM

A policeman was interrogating 3 SARDARS who were training to become
detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the
first SARDAR a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. "This is your
suspect, how would you recognize him?"

The first SARDAR answers, "That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he
only has one eye!" The policeman says,"Well...uh...that's because the
picture I showed is his side profile."

Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for
5 seconds at the second SARDAR and asks his, "This is your suspect, how
would you recognize him?" The second SARDAR smiles, flips his hair and
says, "Ha! He'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"

The policeman angrily responds, "What's the matter with you two?? Of
course only one eye and one ear are showing because it's a picture of his
side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?"

Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third
SARDAR and in a very testy voice asks, "This is your suspect, how would
you recognize him? He quickly adds, "Think hard before giving me a stupid
answer." The SARDAR looks at the picture intently for a moment and says,
"The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is surprised and
speechless because he really doesn't know himself if the suspect wears
contacts or not. "Well, that's an interesting answer. Wait here for a few
minutes while check his file and I'll get back to you on that."

He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect's file in
his computer, and comes back with a beaming smile on his face. "Wow! I
can't believe it. It's TRUE! The suspect does in fact wear contactlenses.
Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?" "That's
easy," the SARDAR replied. "He can't wear regular glasses because he only
has one eye and one ear."
:P :P :P