Be Popular at Work...four steps.

**ftvfatboy** · 12-07-2005, 09:00 AM

Step One: Increase Your Friendliness
Your friendliness is a function of your ability to communicate
openness and welcome to others. Make an effort to greet people
cheerfully, smile often and adopt a friendly mindset that you
communicate through positive body language and words.

Step Two: Raise Your Relevance
Your relevance has to do with your connection to others' interests,
wants and needs. The more relevant you are, the more people like
you. Relevance has three levels:

Contact. The odds are, likability will increase with "functional
distance," such as sitting next to someone at a party or living
nearby.

Mutual Interests. Having common interests or experiences makes
people feel validated and generates a sense of community and
personal respect.

Value. Relevance is strongest when the value you offer meets another
person's wants and needs. This produces positive attitudes in the
person's mind and contributes to your allure.

To become more relevant, find ways to connect with the interests and
needs of others. Know what they're passionate about outside of work.
Be aware of their emotional needs and willing to respond to them.

Step Three: Show Empathy
Your empathy reflects your capacity to see things from another
person's point of view and to experience his or her feelings
yourself. When you connect with someone's feelings, and they believe
you're "with them," it delivers a psychological hug. Ask yourself,
do I:

Know how that person is feeling about his or her life situation
these days?

Understand what it must feel like to perform the person's tasks day
after day -- be it caring for an elderly relative at home or
managing a heavy workload?

Share the same emotions about key issues?

By making yourself more emotionally available, your connection with
people -- and your likability -- will grow dramatically.

Step Four: Keep It Real
Realness is consistency between your beliefs and actions. To be true
to yourself and others, you need to:

Do what you want to be doing in life.

Live with purpose.

Commit to the principles of your work.

Be the same person on the outside as you are on the inside.

Be direct and honest with others.

The more you live by your values, the more your perceived realness
will elevate. Conversely, if people decide you're not real, they
will discount your friendliness, relevance and empathy -- and
probably dislike you.

"Basically, likability comes down to creating positive emotional
experiences in others," Sanders concludes. "When you make others
feel good, they tend to gravitate to you."