The Wonder of Forgiving

* Forgiveness means bending without breaking, being strong enough to
withstand the heavy weight of injury
but resilient enough to recover. Be forgiving.

* Forgive yourself; for what you regret doing and for what you wish you had
done, for not being fully yourself and for being only yourself.

* Self-forgiveness cleanses the soul, washing away shame and guilt. Out of
self-forgiveness comes the power to extend forgiveness to others.

* You have the right to feel sad, betrayed, angry, resentful when you've
been injured. Understand, accept and express your feelings. Pushing them
below the surface only means they will erupt in another place, at another time.

* Justice may right the wrongs, but forgiveness heals the hurt. Seek
forgiveness beyond justice.

* Sometimes people hurt you because, like you, they are learning and
growing. Forgive their incompleteness, their humanness.

* To refuse to forgive is to continue to hurt yourself. Victimized once,
your lack of forgiveness keeps you stuck as a victim, holding on to a
victim's identity. Instead, claim the identity of one who forgives.

* No loving relationship is free of hurts. Bind up the wounds of love with
forgiveness.

* When you are having a difficult time forgiving, recall a moment when you
wanted to be forgiven. Offer
the other person what you wanted to receive.

* Forgiveness takes practice. Start with small hurts and work your way up
to the big ones.

* Forgiveness may seem futile when you see no immediate results. But
healing and growth are like fine aged cheese -- not instant mashed
potatoes. Give forgiveness time.

* You cannot change someone for the better by holding a grudge. Grudges
only change you--for the worse.

* When someone won't forgive you, refusing to forgive in return is no
answer. That's like wrapping yourself
in the other's chains. Keep yourself free; forgive.

* To help you forgive, picture the other person surrounded by the light of
God. See yourself stepping into that same light, and feel God's presence
with you both.

* Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else; it is something you
do for yourself. Give yourself the gift of forgiveness.