10 Ways to Make Your Kid Fat
Parents will laugh, and possibly cringe, at this tongue-in-cheek look at 10 ways we can make our children fat without even trying:
1. Don’t feed your kids breakfast. It’s hard enough to get them out the door in the morning anyway. Geez, moms need a break too. Just make sure you put a candy bar in their pocket, in case their blood sugar drops a little later on.
2. Pay no attention to portion sizes. In fact, adult portions are completely appropriate. Don’t worry about a child’s stomach only being the size of her fist. It really stretches a lot.
3. Snacks are better than defined meals. And with this abundance of pre-packaged snack foods, it has become wonderfully convenient to feed children little munchies all throughout the day without ever turning on the stove or chopping fruits or veggies. For most of these packaged snacks, you don’t even need a plate or silverware. Easy!
4. Train their taste buds for very sweet and very salty. As always with kids, consistency is important here. Always let them have chocolate milk, and they will never go for plain again if given the choice.
5. Buy processed food, not fresh. Because the more pre-prepared (and therefore probably ultra-processed) the food already is when you buy it, the less hassle it is for you to serve that food for dinner once you bring it home! Let the food manufacturers do the prep work for you … creates jobs too. And for some weird reason, the more hands have handled your food the cheaper it gets.
6. Water is boring. Your kids are right when they say it’s yucky. It doesn’t taste like anything. Sweet bubbly soda and other sugary drinks are a lot more fun, and the colorful cans and bottles are so cute.
7. Bribe them with dessert. If they finish their plate, they can have ice cream. Over time, this will create a clear picture in their little head: Main course (real food) = chore. Dessert = reward!
8. Nip their passion for sports in the bud early. Don’t let your kid dream of becoming a professional athlete when he grows up, or next thing you know he’ll be featured on MTV Cribs.
9. Feed your kids plenty of refined, low fiber foods. Yeah, a diet rich in fiber reduces their risk for heart disease and chronic illnesses, helps them poop regularly and makes them full for a long time … but boy, is that stuff chewy.
10. Don’t have family meals. Family mealtime is a breeding ground for talks about the stuff that’s going on in your kid’s head – and who can deal with that after a busy workday? They might even start paying attention to what you’re serving them or will want to get involved in the kitchen. That would be a bother.
Keywords: children fat,tongue-in-cheek ,Snacks , defined meals,chocolate milk,kid dream,low fiber foods, colorful cans
