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ഗള്ഫില് നിന്ന് മാമന്: ഞാന് വരുമ്പോള് നിനക്ക് എന്താ കൊണ്ടുവരണ്ടേ ടിന്റു മോനെ
ടിന്റു മോന് : മൊബൈല് ഫോണ് മതി മാമാ
മാമന് : "nokia" മതിയൊ ടിന്റു മോനെ
ടിന്റു മോന്: നോക്കിയാല് പോര മാമാ വാങ്ങണം
ടീച്ചര് : ആകാശത്ത് പറക്കുകയും ഭൂമിയില് പ്രസവിക്കുകയും ചെയ്യുന്ന ഒരു ജീവിയുടെ പേര് പറയൂ...
ടിന്റുമോന്: എയര് ഹോസ്റ്റെസ്
അപ്പന് : നിന്നെ പള്ളീലച്ചന് ആക്കാമെന്ന് ഞാന് നേര്ച്ച നേര്ന്നടാ.
ടിന്റു മോന്: ചതിച്ചല്ലോ അപ്പാ... എന്റെ മോനെ പള്ളീലച്ചന് ആക്കാമെന്ന് ഞാനും നേര്ന്നിരിക്കുവാ...
പള്ളീലച്ചന് : ദൈവം തമ്പുരാന് മോളീന്ന് വിളിച്ചാല് നമ്മള് എല്ലാരും പോകണം തിന്ടു മോനെ
ടിന്റു മോന് : ദൈവം തമ്പുരാന് മോളീന്ന് വിളിച്ചാല് "മോളി" മാത്രം പോയാല് പോരെ അച്ചോ...
അപ്പന്: പരീക്ഷക്ക് നീ തൊട്ടാല് പിന്നെ എന്നെ അപ്പാ എന്ന് വിളിച്ചുപോകരുത്...
കുറച്ചു ദിവസം കഴിഞ്ഞു...
അപ്പന്: എന്തായടാ റിസള്ട്ട്?
ടിന്റുമോന് : അളിയാ ... സോറിഡാ.. 5 വിഷയങ്ങളില് തോറ്റു പോയി മച്ചൂ...
ടീച്ചര്: ആറില് അഞ്ചു പോയാല് എന്ത് കിട്ടും?
ടിന്റു മോന്: അന്ച്ചുവിന്റെ ശവം കിട്ടും ടീച്ചറെ അവള്ക്കു നീന്താന് അറിയില്ല

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Fine

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

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Five Minutes

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.

Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

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Nothing

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

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Go Ahead

This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

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Loud Sigh

Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

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That's Okay

This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

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Thanks

This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you. Do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

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Poems written by WIFE and HUSBAND



WIFE:
I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away.
Then I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

HUSBAND:
God saw me hungry, he created pizza.
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi.
He saw me in dark, he created light.
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

WIFE:
Twinkle twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

HUSBAND:
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

WIFE:
Roses are red; Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you…

An IDEA can change ur Life ...
But, a Girl Can change Ur IDEA!!!!!!!!!!!!


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LoLzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Call to technical support

Caller: Hi, our printer is not working.

Customer Service: What is wrong with it?

Caller: Mouse is jammed.

Customer Service: Mouse? And how it is related to printer?

Caller: Mmmm.. Wait, I will send a picture.




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Men and women on earth die and go to heaven.

God comes and says: -

"I want the men to form two queues, one line for the men who had control over their women, and the other one for the men who were controlled by their women. Also, I want all the women to go away so that no man and woman can talk."

Next time God comes back, the women are gone, and there are two lines.

The line for the men who were controlled by their women is 100 miles long, and in the line of men who had control over their women there is only one man.

God gets mad and says, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you in my image, and you were all controlled by your mates. Look at the only one of my sons who stood up and made me proud. Learn from him!"

"Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replies, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental hospital, Than Man asked the Director 'How
do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the
hospital.'

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we give a

teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the

bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' The man said. 'A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug.

Well....... Do you want a bed near the window?'

The " Y " Generation :

People born between 1925 and 1945....Are called...
The Silent Generation

People born between 1946 and 1964...Are called....
The Baby Boomers

People born between 1965 and 1982...Are called....
Generation X.

People born after 1983...Are called....
Generation Y

BUT.........Y
Why do we call the last group of people...Generation Y ?
I had no idea until I saw this caricaturist's explanation!
A picture is worth a thousand words!
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LOLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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Dear, i love u very much. Please understand me.
Dont try to avoid me. Atleast see me once in a week.
yours lovingly,
"soap" & "tooth paste.Ha ha...