Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
"MOSQUITO"
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Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
"MOSQUITO"
thanks Swetha......... really good jokes
Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...Without Information Fighting Everytime!
WIFE satys No, it means -
With Idiot For Ever
How do you make a Sardar laugh on "Saturday"?
Tell him "a joke on Tuesday
MANDAN
Teacher: “Eee classil mandanmar undenkil ezhunnettu nilku”
Aarum ezhunnettilla. 10 second kazhinjappol Tintumon ezhunnettu.
Teacher: “Oho… Ne mandanano ?”
Tintumon: “Teacher ottakku nilkunnathu kandappol sankadam thonni
Oru divasam Hotelil....Custemer: Edo Ee Biriyaniyil Oru Eecha chathu kidakunnu.
Suplier :Adil oru kozhi chathu kidakunnathu prashnamilla pinneya oru eecha
NO FREEZE LIQUID
Teacher: ‘Freeze aakatha oru liquid-nte peru parayoo’
Tintumon: ‘Chooduvellam’
മലയാളം ക്ലാസില്* അധ്യാപകന്* : കിട്ടുന്നതുവരെ പരിശ്രമം.. കിട്ടിയാല്* പിന്നെ വിശ്രമം... ഇതിനൊരു ഉദാഹരണം പറയാമോ രഘുവിന്* ? രഘു: സര്*ക്കാര്* ഉദ്യോഗം.
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MATHS PROOF
Xam Qn:
IF 2(l+b)=P;
Prove that 4b=P.
Tintumon :
2(l+b)=P
2(ell+b)=P
2(bone+b)=P
taking ‘b’ comon
2b(one+1)=P
2b(2)=P
4b=P!
Tintumonoda kali
hahahah indeed, funny indeed.
One day a cowboy was out riding his horse when they came upon a rattlesnake. Suddenly the horse reared, So the cowboy pulled out his gun and pointed it at the snake.suddenly the snake spoke.
"Don't shoot!! If you don't shoot me I will grant you three wishes!"
The cowboy put away his gun and said " All right then, I want a face like Tom Cruz, a body like Arnold Swanzkaure, and sexual equipment like the horse that i am riding."
The horse looked at the cowboy and said "All right when you get back to your cabin you will have these three wishes."
So the cowboy spun his horse around and raced back to his cabin when he got there he ran inside and looked in the mirror. And he had a face likeTom Cruz, So then he ripped off his shirt and he had a body like Arnold. Getting really exicited he pulled down his pants and...
"Oh Shit I forgot I was ridding the mare!"
Teacher: who is a terrorist?
Student: terrorist is a tourist who celebrates diwali in our country. :)
MY WAY OF LIFE .
People Laugh Because i am Different, .
And i Laugh Because They Are All the Same, .
That's Called ‘ATTITUDE’…
“LIVE IT YOUR OWN WAY”
Titanic was sinking.
Santa: How much the earth is far from here?
Banta: 1 kilo meter.
Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"
Banta: Downwards !
Nice joke :)
When i open my eyes every morning i pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you.... Why should only i suffer!!!
Nice jokes shweta :D
Good Joke...........shwethaaaa :)
If you give a man a fish, he eats for a day.
If you teach a man to fish, he can always eat.
If you give a man a fire, he's warm for a day.
If you light a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life.
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?"
Fred replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them."
His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother."
A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?"
With a frown on his face, Fred answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much."
The friend said, "Then what's the problem?"
Fred replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Fill in the blank...
Im ur .....
friend- a)-Cute b)-Sweet c)-Loving d)-Boy/Girl e)-
Best of all Reply is a must...
People Like You r
One In Billion
So Always Take Care Of
Yourself, Coz
I Ain't In A Mood To Search
Another Billion For A Lovely
Person Like You :)
hhaahahahahahahahahahha
good jokes
Sweet candies are nice to eat .. Sweet words are easy to say .. but, sweet ppl are hard to find .. OH MY GOD! how did u find me?
hhh love itQuote:
Originally Posted by shweta
What's up, I'm new.
Before marriage:
Roses are red, sky is blue,
O my darling! I love you…
After Marriage:
Roses are dead,
I have flu,
don’t come near me,
Paray hatt tuu,
Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”
Great Joke"""
http://gallery.bizhat.com/data/513/titumon.jpg
IDI MINNAL
tintu mon: innu muthal idi minnal inte koode idi undavilla..
achan: athenthada?
tintu mon: pathrathil vartha kandu."idi" minnalettu marichennu
PASSIVE VOICE
teacher: Write the passive voice of ” I made a mistake”
tintumon: ” I was made by a mistake”
INTERVIEW
Actress: Tamililekkulla ente praveshanam pettennayirunnu.
Tintumon: Athayirikkum vendathra thuni edukkan pattathirunnath alle..!!!
BUS STOP
Tintumon at a bus stop….
A man asked: “Kottarakkarakku ippol bus undo?”
Tintumon: “Ariyilla, Adoor Bhasikku oru jeepundu….”
PRACTICAL EXAM
Tintumon attended bio practical exam..
Examiner: Tell the bird name by seeing leg.
Tintumon: I dont know.
Examiner: u fail.
Whats ur name ?
Tintumon: See my leg & tell.
DOCTOR
Thengil ninu veena achanumayi hospitalil ethiya tintumonodu
Dr: oru 5 min. mumpu ethichirunengil rekshapeduthamayirunu.
Tintumon: thengenu onnu veenu kittende doctor.
SAMAYAM
Kedakkiya oru timepiece achante kayyil koduthu Tintumon:
Samayam parayamo?
Achan: Samayam parayanamengil minimum Valiya soochiyum cheriya soochiyum evida ennariyanam.
Kurachalochicha sesham Tintumon:
Valiya Soochi nammude kinattil. Cheriya soochi Arichakkil.. ini Samayam para
Achan: Iswara!!
APARA BUDHI
Vakkyathil Prayogikkuka - “Kriyathmagam”
Tintumon: Teacher classil Kriyathmagam enna vakkinte artham chodhichappol aarum onnum mindiyilla… !!!
Tintumonoda Kali…
GEOGRAPHY
Teacher: “Tintumone.. ithavanayum ninakku geography-kku motta poojyam aanu. Ne entha geography padickathe ?”
Tintumon: “Achan parayarundu. Lokam anudhinam marikondirikkukayanennu. Lokam onnu settle aayikkotte.
Ennittu padickam !”
MATHEMATICS
Tintumon was doing his maths homework.
He said to himself, “Two plus five, the son of a b!tch is seven.
Three plus six, the son of a b!tch is nine…”
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,
“What are you doing?”
Tintumon answered, “I’m doing my maths homework, Mom.”
“And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?” the mother asked.
“Yes,” he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day,
“What are you teaching my son in maths?”
The teacher replied, “Right now, we are learning addition.”
The mother asked, “And are you teaching them to say two plus
two, the Son Of a b!tch is four?”
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered,
“What I taught Them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH,
is four.”
RESULT
Meenu: “How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?”
Tintumon: “You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated”.
KAVITHA
Dundumon: Cheruppam muthale kavitha enteyoru weakness anu…Ninakko??
Tintumon: Kavitha mathramalla avalude aniyathimarum ente weakness ayirunnu!
DRIVING
Tintu in driving school
Driving Seatil Irikkunna Tintumonod Gearil Pidichu Kondu
Aashan:- 1st Engotta?
Tintumon:-First Mamante Veettil Pokam
GOOD NEWS
Tintumon : Achaa,Oru santhosha vaartha undu!
Achan : Entha ?
Tintumon : Achan Paranjille njan ee thavanthe exams enkilum pass aayaal enikku 1000 Rs tharaamennu !!!!
Achan : Uvvu !!!
Tintumon : Achante 1000 rs poyitilla….happy aayeelle…?
PROGRESS REPORT
TEACHER: Eda Tintu.. Da Ninte Progress Report.. mothom MOTTAYA… oru vandi vilichh veetttil etichoo…
TINTUMON: Sheri…. Athil teacher “HANDLE WITH CARE” ennu koodi ezuthikkoo…. Appan chilappo eduthu eriyumm……
LOKAVASAANAM
Teacher: Lokam avasanikkunna divasam bhayankara idiyum minnalum undakum..
Tintumon: annu school uchakk vidumo teachere?
NJAN AARA?
Tintumon gundumolod : ” Aa principal enthoru mandanaa ”
Gundumol : (deshyathode) ” Njan aaranennu aryamo ?”
Tintumon : “Illaa.. ”
Gundumol: ” Njan principalinte molaa ”
Tintumon : ” Ohooo.. enna njan aaranenu aryamo ??”
Gundumol : “Illa.. aaraa ?? ”
Tintumon : “Rakshapettuu !!! “
SATHYAM
Tintumon: Njann innalai cricket bat kondu T.V. thalli pottichu..Achan chodichappol njaana cheythathu ennum paranju..Pakshe achan ennai onnum cheythilla..
Teacher: Kando..atha Sathyathinte vila ..
Tintumon: Kuntham..Appozhum cricket bat entai kaiyil undarunnu,atha achan mindanjathu
V_GUARD
tintumol: tv poyi, ac poyi, fridge poyi ellam poyi..
tintumon: v-guard stabilizer illa alle?
tintumol: illa..
tintumon: nannayi, allenkil athum poyene….
LOAN FROM BANK
Manager:ningalkku bank Interest illathe anu panam tharunnathu..
Tintumon: Enikk thirich adakkaanum valiya interest onnumilla..!!!
TRANSISTOR
‘viva’kku chennirunna tintu monodu external:
“This is transistor. I dont know anything about this. Can you explain?”
Tintumon: “Sir nte avastha thanneyaanu enikkum. dont know anything.”
IN BAR
Tintumonum Achanum Achante Friendum Bar-il kayari.
Achan ordered for 2 Beer and 1 Ice cream.
Tintumon Achanodu. “Entha Achaa… Achante Friend Beer kudikkukayille?”
TEACHER
Behind every successful student there is one good teacher.
But what about failed student?
Tintu mon: A beautiful teacher..!
Enjoyed the jokes..
Thanks
super jokes........ :)
The Best way to Escape from a Problem is to Solve it"
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Sardar to his servant: Go and water the plants.
Servant: It's already raining.
Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.
Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever -
What will come first, Chicken or egg?
O Yaar, what ever U order first, will come first.
A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"
Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet
Sardar: - why did U come so far. Instead U could Have posted it....
A Sardar & his wife filed an application for Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide your kids, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We'll apply NEXT YEAR
Sardar's wish: when I die, I wana die like my Grandpa who died peacefully in his sleep not Screaming like all d passengers in d car he was Driving..
A Teacher lecturing on population:
"In Indi a after every 10 secs a women gives birth to a kid. "
A Sardar stands up- "We must find & stop her!. "
A man: "Sardarji, tell me, why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening not in the morning?"
Sardarji: ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed.
His wife asked what you are doing.
He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.
Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it?
Guess what...
To avoid side effects!!!
Man: Sardarji where were U born?
Sardarji: Punjab .
Man: Which part?
Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body Is born in Punjab Yaar".
Lawyer to Sardar: "Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke...... "
Sardar :"Yeh kya, sita pe haath lagaya to court mein Bulaya. Ab fir gita pe haath!!"
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl... He went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What R U doing...?"
Sardar replied- "B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigar"
Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing Me.
I don't know how she got my no, she interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
A sardar was drawing money from ATM,
The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). "
The first sardar replies, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! U R wrong, Its 1258"
__________________________________________________ _________________________
Q. How do U recognize a sardar in school or College???
A. They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!
Q. Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale?
A. Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept........
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!
http://gallery.bizhat.com/data/500/roselaly.gif
http://health.bizhat.com/
__._,
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READ THIS SCARY STORY IF YOU DARE.
On a rainy day,
an old man was standing with a book for sale.
A young man came to buy.
He bought the book for Rs.3000.
Old man advised
“DONT OPEN LAST PAGE OF THE BOOK othrwise YOU’ll face problem”
Man finished the book with great fear but didnt open the last page.
.
.
.
But,after a week,
Out of curiousity he opend the last page and..
he almost fainted to see..
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Retail Price: Rs 30/-
In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird’s name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house…
still he was in jail…….why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !
Ha Ha! Great Jokes!