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The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, Theres Ritu; shes a lawyer, or Thats Ramu, hes a doctor."
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And theres the teacher ... shes dead."
Blonde Cowboy
A sheriff in a small town walked out in the street and saw a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots.
So the sheriff arrested him for indecent exposure. As he was locking him up he asked "Why in the world are you dressed like this?"
The Cowboy said, "Well it’s like this Sheriff... I was in the bar down the road and this pretty little red head asked me to go out to her motor home with her....and I did.
"We went inside and she pulled off her top and asked me to pull off my shirt, .... so I did....
"Then she pulled off her skirt and asked me to pull off my pants... so I did...
"Then she pulled off her panties and asked me to pull off my shorts... So I did...
"Then she got on the bed, looked at me kind of funny and said, Now go to town cowboy....
"So here I am!"
There was once a Gujarati living in USA called Navneen Bhai, who was involved in a car accident.
At the hospital, when he awoke, he called for the nurse to tell him what had happened to him. "I’m very sorry, sir, but you were involved in a very bad car crash."
"Car crash! My Corola! Is my car all right?" he asked hysterically.
"Sir, your car was destroyed, but that is the least of your worries - you lost your left arm in the crash, and we were unable to save it," she said apologetically.
"I lost my arm? My Seiko Watch! My Seiko!" Sir, please calm down.
That is the least of your worries. You are in a very critical condition, but all your family are here to see you.
"He asked for his family to be called in. As they gathered around the bed, he called for each of them by name.
"Leena, are you here?" "I am here husband, and I will never leave you."
"Pritesh, are you here?" "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Kalpesh, are you here?" "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Kamlesh, my child, are you here?" "I am here father, and I will never leave you."
"Well," said Navneen Bhai thoughtfully, "Leena, Pritesh,Kalpesh and Kamlesh are here.....if all of you are here, Who the hell is in the shop?"
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."
"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I didn’t go shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking fancy meal!"
"I know all that."
"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"
"Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married."
Not a Virgin any more
A family is lunching: The 10 year old girl does not eat much.
At the end of one moment, she says: "I have something to announce", Silence and all listen. "I am not virgin any more", and she starts to cry.
Again a long silence... and then....
The father addresses to his wife: "It is all your fault, always equipped and made up like a whore, you believe that you are an example for your daughter? ... It is lamentable".
The woman says to her husband: "And you, you believe that you are an example? To waste your pay with pétasses which come sometimes to accompany you back, you believe that you are an example for your 10 year old daughter?
"And the father to continue: "And her older sister, this good with nothing, with her hairy and doped buddy, always in the train of tripoter and to jump itself in all the recesses of the house, you believe that it is an example?... And that continues like that.......
The grandmother takes her small daughter by the shoulders to comfort her and asks her: "How that arrive? "And the small one to answer by choking its sobs: "the priest chose another girl to make the Virgin in the Crib of Christmas."
New Book Releases
Indian Cricket Authors
1. How to lose a winning match - Md.Azharuddin.
2. Why not bowling - Nayan Mongia
3. Fielding tips - Anil Kumble
4. Bowling at slog - J.Srinath
5. Not in mood - Ajit Agarkar
6. Batting my style - Venkatesh Prasad
7. Old is gold - Robin Singh
8. Summer holidays - Nikhil Chopra, Khurasia
9. One Night Stands: 280 to 28 in 5 matches � VVS Laxman
10. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow � Harsha Bhogale
11. Wicketkeeping � A Complete Idiots Guide � Deep Dasgupta
12. It wasn�t me � Kapil Dev and Manoj Prabhakar
Foreign Authors
1. Effective use of Limited Vocabulary � Glen McGrath
(insights into Australian Team) - 200 pages of Glossary featuring all the words you�ll ever need.
2. Men of Honour: A Chrono on Hansie Cronje and Azharuddin - Herschelle Gibbs and Ajay Jadeja
3. Momma, I won the game for Australia � Darrel Hair and other Australian Umpires
4. Art of Legal Chucking � Muttiah Muralitharan, Shoaib Akhtar, Bret Lee
5. A Finger on the Seam (No Comments) � Mike Denesse
6. 11 Individuals: How to select a team � Pakistan Cricket Board
The Attorneys
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The waiter became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!"
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
Once 4 gujju wives met at a party talking about their husband’s new cellular phones....
First gujju wife says to others... "Maro pati ne pass mota laura(motorola)
che!....
Second gujju wife replies.."Aree sirf mota laura thi kya hoga? errection(ERICSSON) chahiye!....
So the third gujju wife stepa up & says..."aree mota laura bhi thick hai, errection bhi thick hai, Par semen(seimens) nahi to kya fayda?...
And then the fourth said.."Mota laura bhi ho, errecson bhi ho, semen bhi ho,
lekin na kiya(nokiya) tho kya fayda??....
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a wild beast and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified wild beast stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times. The lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it lookes like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant, "Just because you don’t know the answer, you don’t have to get so upset about it!!"
Wedding Deal
During a wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the vicar with an unusual offer. "Look, I’ll give you $100 if you’ll change the wedding vows. When you get to me and the part where I’m supposed to promise to ’love, honor and obey’ and ’forsaking all others, be faithful to her forever,’ I’d appreciate it if you’d just leave that part out." He passed the clergyman the cash and walked away satisfied.
On the day of the wedding, the bride and groom arrived to the part of the ceremony where the vows are exchanged. When it was time for the groom’s vows, the vicar looked the young man in the eye and said:
"Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?"
The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice, "Yes."
The groom leaned toward the vicar and hissed, "I thought we had a deal."
The vicar put the $100 in the groom’s hand and whispered back, "She made me a much better offer."
Santa Singh accidentally locked his keys inside his car. He called a mechanic - Banta Singh who arrived and said, "Give me ten minutes and Ill have everything worked out."
Santa went back inside his house and came back after a few minutes. He found Banta working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As Santa watched from the passengers side, he instinctively tried the door handle and discovered it was open. "Hey," Santa announced to the mechanic, "Its open!"
"I know," answered Banta. "I already opened that side."
Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination. He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. He then removes his turban and throws it away as well. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit.
The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "Oye, I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, "it says here, ’answer the following questions in brief’."
There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one $5000 and see how each of them spends it.
The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."
The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."
The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."
The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, then finally married one of the girls...
Can you guess who did he marry?
He married the one with the biggest breasts!
Santa & Preeto in farm !
Santa Singh and his wife Preeto were living in Assam on a farm up in the hills.
One day, Santa has found out that the hole under the outhouse is full. He goes into the house and tells Preeto that he doesn’t know what to do to empty the hole.
Preeto says, "Why don’t you go ask Banta down the road? He must be smart ’cause he’s a college graduate."
So Santa drives down to the neighbor Banta’s house and asks him, "Mr. College graduate, my outhouse hole is full, and I don’t know what to do to empty it."
Banta tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Put them both under the outhouse and light them both at the same time. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. While it’s in the air the second one will then go off and spread the shit all across your farm, fertilizing your ground. The outhouse should then come back down to the same spot atop the now-empty hole."
Santa thanks the neighbor, then drives to the hardware store and picks up two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse.
He goes home and puts them under the outhouse. He then lights them and runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Preeto comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite ... shooting the outhouse into the air.
BOOM..! Off goes the second stick of dynamite ... spreading shit all over the farm.
WHAM..! The outhouse comes crashing back down atop the hole.
Santa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, " Preeto, are you all right...??!!"
As she pulls herself up she says..."Yeah, but I’m sure glad I didn’t fart in the kitchen."
Super Deluxe Model !
An Italian was in a bad car accident and after months of recovery he still has a problem. He has to have his penis amputated. He goes to see the doctor and the doctor reassures him that he can help him.
"First of all you have to pick a new penis" says the doctor. The doctor picks up a box from his table and says "This is our 6 inch standard model. It is dependable and will cost you only $6000. It comes with a lifetime guarantee.
The man says, "Ok. What’s in the other box?"
"This is our 10 inch super model. 10 inches of muscle to please any women. But for this you have to pay $10,000!!"
The man says, "Oh yea, that’s the one I want. My wife will love me forever. Well what’s in that other box?"
The doctor picks up yet another box from his desk.
"This is our super deluxe model. It’s 12 inches of all beef and will drive all the ladies wild. But if you want this much power you gotta pay $12,000 for it!"
The man is really on a roll and is tickled pink, "Doc, that’s it, that’s the one for me. I’ll be the envy of everyone I know. But does it have a lifetime guarantee?"
"Yes sir."
Then the man says he has just one more question. "Does it come in white?"
Very Good Collection
Thanks for sharing dude
A tourist from Hong Kong walks into a Sydney Exchange Bureau with HK$900 and asks for A$. The teller checks the day’s rate, and hands over A$120. The grateful tourist says, "Thank Velly mutch! Velly kind!" and walks off to Kings Cross.
The next day, the Hong Kong guy goes back, with another HK$900 and hands it over. The teller checks the rate, and hands over A$135. The Hong Kong guy is very happy, and quickly pockets the cash and disappears, chortling to himself, "This Aussie velly bad math. Ha, ha, ha, ha."
The following day he returns, again clutching HK$900 in crumpled notes. He hands it over to the nonchalant teller, who checks the rate, and hands over A$96.
The Hong Kong guy does a double take, recounts the notes, and fixes the teller with an incredulous stare. "Hey, Terrer, yesterday I come wif money, you give many many dorrar, ormos’ One-hun’red-firty-five! Day before, you gif one-hun’red-twenny, Today you give onry nin’ey-six. Why you do to me like this?"
The teller replies calmly, "Fluctuations Sir."
The tourist screams back, "Fluck You Aussies Too!"
Its Christmas Eve. Kelly walks into a bar and orders beer and a shot of whiskey. The bartender gives him a beer and a shot of whiskey. Kelly drinks his beer and pours the shot of whiskey into his shirt pocket. Kelly orders another beer and another shot of whiskey. Kelly drinks the beer and pours the shot of whiskey into his pocket. The bartender says, "Look, Mac, its Christmas Eve, and I know were both depressed, and I certainly dont mean to bug you, but my curiosity is *killing* me. Why do you keep pouring the shots in your pocket?" Kelly says, "Its none of your damn business! And if you be givin me a hard time, Ill be breakin yer face!" A mouse pops out of Kellys shirt pocket and says, "And that goes for your stupid *cat* , too!"
A women desperately looking for work goes into a toy manufacturer. The Personnel Manager goes over her resume and explains to her that he regrets he has nothing worthy of her ability. The woman answers that she really needs work and will take any position. The Personnel Manager hems and haws and finally says he does have a low skill job on the "Tickle me Elmo" line and nothing else. The woman happily accepts. He takes her down to the line and explains her duties and that she should be in at 8:00 AM the next day. The next day at 8:45 there’s a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door.
The "Tickle me Elmo" line manager comes in and starts ranting and raving about the woman just hired. After screaming for 15 minutes about how badly backed up the assembly line is, the Personnel Manager suggests he show him the problem. Together they head down to the line and sure enough Elmos are backed up from here to kingdom come. Right at the end of the line is the woman just hired. She has pulled over a roll of material used for the Elmos and has a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric and takes 2 marbles and starts sewing them between Elmo’s legs.
The Personnel Manager pulls himself together and walks over to the new employee and says "I’m sorry - I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. What I wanted you to do was give Elmo two test tickles."
Santa was hard up for money, so he walked around his neighborhood, trying to find a job. He met a nice American who said he would give him work and pay $100. All he had to do was paint his porch white. He gave Santa a bucket of paint and walked into his house, laughing. He told his wife what he had done.
"Frank, our porch covers half of the house! Youre so mean." his wife replied.
One hour later, Santa went in the house, and gave the bucket of white paint back to the man. The astonished man handed him a $100 bill, and asked how he finished it so quickly.
"It takes time, but it was easy!" replied Santa Singh, "Oh, and its a Ferrari, not a Porsche."
A sardar was travelling with his family in a train, in the lower berth his wife, in the middle his son. On a station he got down to drink water. When he returned he was terrified to see a man sleeping in his berth he immediately informed the station master in thebest of his english, "a man, sleeping on top of my wife, didnt give birth to my son"
The workers talk about football in the afternoon,
The officers talk about cricket in the afternoon,
The managers talk about billiards in the afternoon,
and the directors talk about golf in the afternoon,
that means and proves that higher you go smaller your balls are!!
It’s a beautiful spring morning and a man and his wife are spending the day at the zoo. She’s wearing a cute, loose-fitting, pink spring dress, sleeveless with straps. He’s wearing his normal jeans and a T-shirt. The zoo is not very busy this morning.
As they walk through the ape exhibit, they pass in front of a very large hairy gorilla. Noticing the girl, the gorilla goes ape. (no pun intended). He jumps up on the bars, and holding on with one hand (and 2 feet), he grunts and pounds his chest with his free hand. He is obviously excited at the pretty lady in the wavy dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thinks this is funny. He suggests that his wife teases the poor fellow some more. The husband suggests she pucker her lips, wiggle her bottom at him and play along. She does and Mr. Gorilla gets even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggests that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She does and Mr. Gorilla is about to tear the bars down.
"Now try lifting your dress up to your thighs and sort of fan it at him." he says.... this drives the gorilla absolutely crazy and now he’s doing flips. Suddenly the husband grabs his wife by the hair, rips open the door to the cage, slings her in with the gorilla and slams the door shut. "Now, tell him you have a headache !!!"
President Bill Clinton is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the classes (4th grade). They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word, "tragedy." So our illustrious leader asks the class for an example of a "tragedy."
One little boy stands up and offers, "If my best friend, who lives next door, is playing in the street and a car comes along and runs him over, that would be a tragedy."
"No," says Clinton, "that would be an accident."
A little girl raises her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove off a cliff, killing everyone involved, that would be a tragedy."
"I’m afraid not," explains Mr. President. "That’s what we would call a GREAT LOSS."
The room goes silent. No other children volunteer. President Clinton searches the room. "Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"
Finally, way in the back of the room, a small boy raises his hand. In a quiet voice he says, "If Air Force One, carrying Mr. & Mrs. Clinton, was struck by a missile and blown up to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.
"Fantastic," exclaims Clinton, "that’s right. And can you tell me WHY that would be a tragedy?"
"Well," says the boy, "because it wouldn’t be an accident, and it certainly would be no great loss."
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession.
One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him.
He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was amazed and excited.
The angel was a little shocked. He turned to God and said, "Begging Your pardon, but I thought you were going to punish him." God smiled. "Think about it -- who can he tell?"
Once upon a time three persons died on same day.One was Hindu,another was Christan and third was Sardarji.
Yamraajji(St Peter) was facing problem so as to decide whether they should be sent to haeven or hell. Finally yamraajji decided to ask one question from each of them and then send them accordingly.
Yamraajji asked from each of them if everybody got one chance to get their wish fulfilled thEN WHAT WOULD BE THEIR WISHES?
1. Hindu Guy: Uamraajji I have never tasted meat so I wanna taste it, Yamraajji gives him meat and sends him to hell (one is not supposed to eat non-veg at least after he is dead)
2. Christian Guy: Just one more bottle of Wine, Yamraaj arranges a bottle of wine and sends them to hell. (Wine is vice)
3. Sardarji:Yamraaji I have never smoked a ciggerate So I wanna smoke it, So Sardaarji was also provided with ciggerate and sent to hell.(smoking is vice).
After ten years the same three persons were called so as to had look at their condition.
1. Hindu entered in the hall with great health and strong musceles.(Since he consumed meat for ten years.)
2. Christian was not in his senses,coming with a bottle of wine in his hands swanging here and there.
3. Sardarji was the same person as he was ten years back.Approaching to yamraaj in a fits of anger and gave a tight slap on yamraaj’s cheek and shouted: Ciggerate to de ditti, maachis tera pyon dega (u provided me with ciggerate but what about matchsticks).
Random Joke
Software Condoms
When the Software industry had badly gone down, three giants Sun, SCO(UNIX) and Microsoft started producing condoms and named them Java-condo, CondomiX and MS-Condom respectively.
A customer using Java-condo complained to Sun that the condom doesn’t fit correctly.
Sun replied: "Wait till we get the ISO standard". They boasted that it will fit to any size irrespective of underlying structure.
Well, the customer switched to CondomiX and found that by the time he finishes reading the instructions, given along with CondomiX, his wife was sleeping and he himself forgetting why he is using CondomiX.
Finally he switched to MS-Condom.
To his surprise it was so good........and comfortable!. He used it happily.
Six months later he found that his wife was pregnant. He got angry and complained to Microsoft.
He got his reply from Microsoft:
. What do u think was Microsoft’s reply...........???
A PATCH IS COMING SOON...!
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Prince Charles is driving his Land Rover to Sandringham to see his mum. He enters the gate and waves at the guard, just as he pulls onto the driveway he feels a *bump* and a high-pitched howling noise. He quickly stops the car and gets out, to his horror he sees one of his mums Corgis badly crushed under the wheel of the car.
The poor dog is already dead and Prince Charles does not know what to do. His mum will be heart broken and she will be very upset with him.
Just then there was a bright flash and *pooof* a beautiful fairy appeared floating in front of him.
"Who are you?" Asked Prince Charles
"I’m your fairy godmother" she replied in a soft voice "I sensed you were in need and am here to grant you any wish you desire".
"Any wish I desire" repeated Prince Charles What luck!
Well as you can see I just ran over one of mums dogs and she will be most upset. So please, can you bring the doggy back to life?"
The fairy godmother took out her magic wand and walked over to the squashed Corgi and after looking at it for a while she said "It is very errrr, squashed and I’m afraid my fairy magic has its limits you know. Isn’t there anything else you desire, another wish I could grant you?"
Prince Charles scratched his head and thought about it for awhile. "Ah ha," he said, "I know what I would like to wish for. Please can you make Camilla as beautiful as Diana was?"
The fairy godmother had a stunned look on her face, she paused for a second, and said, "Well, perhaps I could have another try at the dog."
Santa Singh is at the railway station. He asks a man "When will Rajdhani Express go from here?"
Man Replies 12.30.
"When will Deccan Queen go from here?"
Man Replies 11.30.
"When will Punjab Express go from here?"
Man Replies 10.30.
Santa singh goes on asking about all the trains. Now the man gets fed up and asks whether he wants to go to punjab by train or not. Santa replies, "No I just want to cross the tracks!"
A Sardar saw a beautiful girl...
he went and kissed her....
Girl said- "What r u doing...?"
Sardar said- B.COM from Khalsa college, Chandigarh
One day, a man travelling through a desert, loses his way and starts wandering around helplessly and aimlessly. After 2 hours, he gets very tired and thirsty. He is dying for some water, when he sees a peddler coming to him. He is very excited and begs the peddler for some water.
The peddler says, "Wanna buy some ties?"
The man is pissed off and says, "I am dying of thirst. What the fuck will I do with ties?"
The peddler continues, "No water! Only ties for sale."
The man shoos the peddler away. After 2 hours, the man can barely walk, dying of thirst. Again he sees a peddler coming and begs him for water. But this peddler also has only ties to offer him.
The man can’t stand it and leaves the peddler. After another 30 minutes, the man, now walking on his knees and on the verge of dying, meets another peddler and begs him for some water. But the peddler offers him ties instead at reasonable rates. The man doesn’t even have the energy to shout at the peddler so he simply moves forward.
After crawling for another 15 minutes, he is almost about to die, when he notices something which his eyes cannot believe.There is a five-star restaurant in the distance, with shady trees all around. Inside people are sitting in air-conditioning rooms eating and drinking. The man can’t believe his good luck and staggers his strength and walks to the door, very excitedly.
But the gatekeeper stops him and says, "Five star restaurant, sir! No one admitted without a tie."
There was this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.
One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!" Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until he died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the Mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."
The Mayor started to laugh, realizing that no-one had told the new priest about the code word. Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at him and said, "I don’t know what you’re laughing about. Your wife fell three times this week."
There’s a funeral procession of a sardar going on a busy street. All the sardars in the ’mayyat’ are dancing the bhangra and singing and general ’balle balle’ is on.
The people on the street find it strange that instead of mourning everyone is celebrating as if its a marriage baraat.
So one of them asks Santa Singh,
"Singh saab, aapka koi sage wala gujar gaya hai aur aap naach rahe ho?"
..... comes the reply,
" Haan ji ! Hai hi baat badi khushi ki !!! Aaj paheli baar ek sardar *brain* tumour se mara hai !!!!"
Santa ji naukri dhoond rahe they, India mein toe kahi se call aayee nahin...yahaan toe compniya mere standard kee nahin hai khair !!
Ab aaayee videsh ki baari... wahan se to ji pehali baar mein hi reply aa gaya. Bade khush...daru-sharu di party de dali. Dost poocchne lagge ki, bhai, bata to kon si company hai, kitni salary hai....
Santa: English main letter aayeaa hai, main tuhanu translate kar ke unana haaan .. Tau suno kya likhya hai..
"You Do not meet"
tum to milte hi nahin ho...bahut busy ho.
"our requirements"
Humhe to bahut zarooorat hai.
"no further correspondence"
Aage chitthi patri di jarurat nahin hai, jaise bhi ho jaldi se aa jao
"will be entertained"
Bahut khatir ki jayegi.
Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out likh do OUT. Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale jayega !!
Santa & Banta Fixing Dents!
Santa was driving home after a football game, and got caught in a really bad hailstorm.
His car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop. The shop owner decided to have some fun with Mr.Sant He told him just to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So, Mr.Santa went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her car’s tailpipe. Nothing happened. He blew a little harder, and still nothing happened.
His roommate, Banta, came home and said, "What are you doing?"
Santa told him how the repairman had instructed him to blow into the tailpipe in order to get all the dents to pop out.
Banta rolled her eyes and said ... "HELLLLO" Dont be stupid "First....You need to roll up all the windows"
nice updates.
jokes forum is again getting hot by ur posts
116 rply.
huge post.
when did u start this.
i think thiz would be going to be a huge success than part1
Quote:
Originally Posted by ftvfatboy
thankk u bhaii...willl post moreee nn moreeeeeee :jump:
God looked at earth and wanted to know what kind of behavior that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, "Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are not."
God thought for a moment and said, "Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion." So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, "Yes, it’s true-the Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving and 5% are being good."
God was not pleased. So He decided to E-mail the 5% that were good, because He wanted to encourage them. Give them a little something to help them keep going. Do you know what that E-mail said?
No?
I didn’t get one either!!