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A man recovers the knowledge in a hospital after an accident of car. They have done a long operation to him and when he recovers the conscience he meets the doctor examining him. - Gentleman, I have to give you two news: the good and different bad one. Which does want first?
- Say to me first the bad one.
- We had to cut your legs to be able to save you.
- Oh, shit! And the good one?
- That now you will be able to presume from that the cock comes to him up to the floor.
Employee Resignation
Poetic Resignation
The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig
The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don't know if I should stay.
To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say
My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don't know if I should stay.
The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age
This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate
Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don't know if I should stay!
The managers don't know what they talk
The team doesn't know where they walk
That's a bad situation, what say?
I don't know if I should stay.
I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace
I can't keep switching day by day
I don't know if I should stay.
The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess
No more will I walk their way,
It's all done, I won't stay.
Thanks & Regards
Employee
Krishna:
Arjun, Try to respect the e-mails of your colleagues.
Arjun:
But Vasudev, how dare I send junk mails to my honourable elders, who are
logged on to honourable domains ?
Krishna :
Paarth, at this moment they neither are your friend nor your foes. They are
mere mail-users. So follow your Net-dharma. Logon and send dozens of
junk mails. This is your Karma and this alone is your Dharma.
Arjun:
Murari ! After seeing all this, I feel like resigning from the company
itself.
Krishna:
Bandhu, it seems you are caught in a vicious circle of Maaya. In this
material world you have none and you are commited to none. Junk mails have
existed before you came to this world and shall remain long after you are
gone. Rise above this Maaya and perform your duty. Just keep sending junk
mails.
Arjun:
But Devaki Nandan...........!
Krishna :
....Victory or failure is not in your hands. So stop pondering about
results. Don't waste your knowledge on the junk shastra bestowed by your
Guru.
Arjun:
Hey Keshav, how is junk mail related to the 'system'?
Krishna:
Junk mail is just junk mail. It has no connection with Hardware. However, it
is another matter that it overloads the system... fills up the hard
disk....but you are not supposed to worry about it. Listen Kunti putra, the
way Aatma leaves one physical body and moves onto another, likewise these
junk mails move from system to system.
Arjun:
How can one define junk mail?
Krishna :
Neither fire can burn it.., nor air can dry it... neither it can be
conquered nor it can be defeated. He who sends junk mails cannot be looked
down upon even by Mahadev... Junk mails are immortal.
Arjun:
Hey Narayan! Now all my doubts on junk mail are crystal clear. You have
opened my eyes Yashoda Nandan, or else I would have lost Myself in Maaya and
read all the junk mails myself.
............ MAHAAABHAAAAARAT .............
Years have passed since then, generations have come and gone, seasons have
cycled, technology advanced, but junk mails remain. So, go on, contribute
something to the history by hitting that forward button yet again to send
this junk mail to all !!!!!
Life before marriage is AIRTEL
" u can express ur self ".
During honeymoon is RELIANCE-
" Always get in Touch ".
After Honeymoon is HUTCH
" Wherever u go ur network follows".
After one year Life is IDEA
" A mistake can change ur life ".
After 10 years Life is BSNL
" Subscriber is not reachable "?????????
Guy gets on a plane and finds himself seated next to an attractive brunette. He immediately turns to her and makes his move; "I've heard that flights pass quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger, so let's talk"
The brunette who had just opened her book, closes it and says; "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh I don't know," says the guy "how about nuclear power?"
"Well that could be interesting, but first let me ask you a question. Horses, cows and deer all eat grass. Yet the deer excretes small pellets, the horse muffin sized chunks and the cow big squishy pancakes. How come?"
Dumbfounded the man replies; "I have absolutely no idea"
"I see" says the brunette, "So you feel qualified to talk about nuclear power, but clearly you don't know shit!!"
Haha, I actually had to read that last joke twice to make sure I understood it. :oops: That's what happens when you read message boards at 2 in the morning, I suspect.
hahaha it is fun
I actually had to read that last joke twice to make sure I understood it. That's what happens when you read message boards at 2 in the morning, I suspect.
An older man goes in for his yearly physical examination, with his wife
tagging along.
When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine
sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did
he say?"
The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"
It's a fine sunny day in the forest and a rabbit is
sitting outside his
burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a
fox, out for a
walk.
Fox: "What are you working on?"
Rabbit: "My thesis."
Fox: "Hmm... What is it about?"
Rabbit: "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes."
Fox: "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits
don't eat foxes!"
Rabbit: "Come with me and I'll show you!"
They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After
few minutes,
gnawing
on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to his typewriter
and resumes typing.
Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the
hardworking rabbit.
Wolf: "What's that you are writing?" Rabbit: "I'm
doing a thesis on how
rabbits eat wolves."
Wolf: "you don't expect to get such rubbish published,
do you?"
Rabbit: "No problem. Do you want to see why?"
The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow and again
the rabbit returns
by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to
typing.
Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you
doing?
Rabbit: "I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears."
Bear: "Well that's absurd! "
Rabbit: "Come into my home and I'll show you"
Scene: As they enter the! Burrow, the rabbit
introduces the bear to the
lion.
[1] Infertility unlikely to be passed on - Montgomery Advertiser
[2] Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link - Cornell Daily Sun
[3] Survey Finds Dirtier Subways After Cleaning Jobs Were Cut - The New
York Times
[4] Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find - The Los Angeles
Times
[5] Light' meals are lower in fat, calories - Huntington Herald-Dispatch
[6] Alcohol ads promote drinking - The Hartford Courant
[7] Malls try to attract shoppers - The Baltimore Sun
[8] Official: Only rain will cure drought - The Herald-News, Westpost,
Massachusetts
[9] Teen-age girls often have babies fathered by men - The Sunday
Oregonian
[10] Low Wages Said Key to Poverty - Newsday
[11] Man shoots neighbor with machete - The Miami Herald
[12] Economist uses theory to explain economy - Collinsville
Herald-Journal
[13] Bible church's focus is the Bible --- Saint Augustine Record,
Florida
[14] Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear --- Journal of
Commerce
[15] Lack of brains hinders research --- The Columbus Dispatch
On their 40th wedding anniversary, Kanjibhai and Rupaben
summed up the reason for their long and happy
marriage.
Kanjibhai said, "I have tried never to be selfish. After all, there is no "I"
in the word 'marriage.'
Rupaben said, "For my part, I have never corrected my husband's spelling."
Hi guys,
Who said english is easy?
Fill the blank with a simple yes or no.
---- I don't have a brain.
LAW's on SEX
1. The more beautifull the woman is who loves
you, the easier
it is to leave her with no hard feelings.
2. Nothing improves with age.
3. No matter how many times you've had it, if
it's
offered take it, because it'll never be quite the
same again.
4. Sex has no calories.
5. Sex takes up the least amount of time and
causes the most
amout of trouble.
6. There is no remedy for sex but more sex.
7. Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what
people
think you've got.
8. No sex with anyone in the same office.
9. Sex is like snow; you never know how many
inches you are
going to get or how long it is going to last.
10. A man in the house is worth two in the
street.
11. If you get them by the balls, their hearts
and minds will
follow.
12. Virginity can be cured.
13. When a man's wife learns to understand him,
she
usually stops listening to him.
14. Never sleep with anyone crazier than
yourself.
15. The qualities that most attract a woman to a
man are usually
the same ones she can't stand years later.
16. Sex is dirty on if it's done right.
17. It is always the wrong time of the month.
18. The best way to hold a man is in your arms.
19. When the lights are out, all woman are
beautiful.
20. Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had
it, chances
are you won't either.
21. Sow your wild oats on saturday night -- then
on sunday
pray for crop failure.
22. The younger the better.
23. The game of love is never called off on
account of darkness.
24. It is not the apple on the tree but the pair
on the ground
that caused the trouble in the garden.
25. Sex discriminates against the shy and the
ugly.
26. B4 I 4Q R U 18?
27. Before you find your handsome prince, you've
got
to kiss a lot of frogs.
28. There may be some things better than sex, and
some things
worse than sex.
But there is nothing exactly like sex.
29. Love your neighbor, but don't get caught.
30. Love is a hole in the heart.
31. If the effort that went in research on the
female bosom
had gone into our space program, we would now be
running hot-dog stands on
the moon.
32. Love is a matter of chemistry, sex is a
matter of of physics.
33. Do it only with the best.
34. Sex is a three-letter word which needs some
old-fashioned
four-letter words to convey its full meaning.
35. One good turn gets most of the blankets.
36. You cannot produce a baby in one month by
impregnating
nine woman.
37. Love is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence.
38. It is better to have loved and lost than
never to have
loved at all.
39. Thou shalt not commit adultry.... unless in
the mood.
40. Never lie down with a woman who's got more
troubles
than you.
41. Abstain from wine, woman, and song; mostly
song.
42. Never ague with a woman when she's tired --
or rested.
43. A woman never forgets the men she could have
had; a man,
the woman he couldn't.
44. What matters is not the length of the wand,
but the magic
in the stick.
45. It is better to be looked over than over
looked.
46. Never say no.
47. A man can be happy with any woman as long as
he doesn't
love her.
48. Folks playing leapfrog must complete all
jumps.
49. Beauty is skin deep; ugly goes right to the
bone.
50. Never stand between a fire hydrant and a dog.
51. A man is only a man, But a good bicycle is a
ride.
52. Love comes in spurts.
53. The world does not revolve on an axis.
54. Sex is one of the nine reasons for
reincarnation; the
other eight are unimportant.
55. Smile, it makes people wonder what you are
thinking.
56. Don't do it if you can't keep it up.
57. There is no difference between a wise man and
a fool when
they fall in love.
58. Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.
59. Love is the delusion that one woman differs
from another.
60. 'This won't hurt I promise.'
oh these are so good. i feel better now :)
lol, i couldnt sotp laughing after i raad it