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what they mean
"COMPETITIVE SALARY" --- TCS
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY" --- ACCENTURE
We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE" -- COGNIZANT
we don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE-ORIENTED" --- SIEMENS
You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED" --- WIPRO
Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY" --- IBM
Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL" --- POLARIS
We have no quality control.
"CAREER-MINDED" --- SAPLABS
Female Applicants must be childless (and remain that way). – very true
"APPLY IN PERSON" --- AOL
If you're old, fat or ugly you'll be told the position has been filled.
"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE" --- NOVELL
We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE" --- HCL
You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST" --- INFOSYS
You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS" --- SATYAM
You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
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funnnnnnnnnny
January to december
sunday to saturday
Am to Pm
My feelings for u have never changed.......
u....
R....
always....
a HEADACHE to me !!!!
When u feel lonely and alone & cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!
If marriages are made in heaven , then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage
During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit
on the
horse
?
He is given his last chance to run away.
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds......
Open ur eyes !
Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 sec in thinking of a
fool............
I wrote ur name on the sands.............
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air..........................
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart.............
i got a HEART ATTACK
The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The wife decided to make a wish,too. But she leaned over too
much, fell
into the well, and drowned.
The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled "It really
works!"
LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire..... continues with smoke.....and ends in
ashes...
But dont worry - we are chain smokers
ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best
True love is like a pillow
u can hug when u r in trouble
u can cry on when u r in pain & u can embrace when u r happy
so when u need true love
spend Rs.50/-Buy a pillow
Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?
I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I'LL NEVER DRINK water....!!!
when i call u;
1 ring means i'm thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ........pick d phone idiot
Teacher : four beautiful ladies r walking on the road. change
it to
exclamatory sentence ..
Student : WOW !
The human brain is most outstanding thing.......
it functions 24hrs 365 days.....
it functions right from the time u r Born....until you fall in
love
SMILE - is a language of love
SMILE - is a source to win hearts...
SMILE - creates greatness in ur personality
SO....
Brush ur Teeth today onwards
A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ?
Student : sir, i am not sure but think from page 15 to 26
sir....
Teacher : U failure ! @ ur age Bill gates stood first in the
class
Student : Mind u, Sir, but @ ur age hitler commited suicide
