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    Poll: Not bad ese, gansta

    Not bad ese, gansta
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    Poll: Spurs r going to win on the seventh game.

    Spurs r going to win on the seventh game.
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    Leader of the HMO Three people die, a Doctor a...

    Leader of the HMO
    Three people die, a Doctor a school teacher and the head of a large HMO, when met at the pearly gates by St. Peter he asks the Doctor 'what did you do on Earth?'

    The Dotor...
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    He's going to Heaven Father Murphy walks into a...

    He's going to Heaven
    Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"

    The man said, "I do Father."

    The priest said, "Then stand...
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    Clinton is in Heaven President Clinton died and...

    Clinton is in Heaven
    President Clinton died and knocked at the Pearly Gates. "Who goes there?" inquired St. Peter.

    "It's me, Bill Clinton".

    "What bad things did you do on earth?"

    Clinton...
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    Filling in for St. Peter A famous professor of...

    Filling in for St. Peter
    A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?'

    'Yes,' the...
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    Fulfilling their requests There were 3 men who...

    Fulfilling their requests
    There were 3 men who died and before God would let them into heaven, he gave them a chance to come back as anything they wanted.

    The first guy said " I want to come back...
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    Bring riches with you There once was a rich man...

    Bring riches with you
    There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he...
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    Making comparisons In Heaven: 1. The cooks...

    Making comparisons
    In Heaven:

    1. The cooks are French,
    2. The policemen are English,
    3. The mechanics are German,
    4. The lovers are Italian,
    5. The bankers are Swiss.

    In...
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    Entering into Heaven A man arrives at the gates...

    Entering into Heaven
    A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?"

    The man says, "Methodist."

    St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as...
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    New Yorkers arrived One day at the entrance to...

    New Yorkers arrived
    One day at the entrance to heaven, St. Peter saw a New York street gang.

    walk up to the Pearly Gates. This being a first, St. Peter ran to God and said, "God,

    there are...
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    Assign the punishment Three guys found...

    Assign the punishment
    Three guys found themselves in Hell: we will call them Carl, Bob, and Brett, they were a little confused at their present situation, and they were startled to see a door in the...
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    Is the wife in control? Everybody on earth dies...

    Is the wife in control?
    Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line...
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    cher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up...

    cher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

    St. Peter...
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    Picking a punishment This guy dies and is sent...

    Picking a punishment
    This guy dies and is sent to Hell. Satan meets him and shows him the doors to three rooms and says he must choose one of the rooms to spend eternity in.

    So Satan opens the...
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    The name of your wife St. Peter is questioning...

    The name of your wife
    St. Peter is questioning three married couples to see if they qualify for admittance to heaven.

    "Why do you deserve to pass the Pearly Gates?" he asks one of the men, who...
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    Represent Christmas Three men die in a car...

    Represent Christmas
    Three men die in a car accident Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the pearly gates waiting to enter Heaven. On entering they must present something relating or...
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    What should they say? Three buddies die in a car...

    What should they say?
    Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.

    They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you,...
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    Gates gets punishment Bill Gates suddenly dies...

    Gates gets punishment
    Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm...
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    Punishment for Gates Satan greets him: "Welcome...

    Punishment for Gates
    Satan greets him: "Welcome Mr. Gates, we've been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You've been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since...
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    Sue over the property Did you know that heaven...

    Sue over the property
    Did you know that heaven and hell are actually right next to each other? They are seperated by a big chain-link fence. Well, one day hell was having a big party and it got a...
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    Doing this great deed A fellow finds himself in...

    Doing this great deed
    A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that its not so easy to get in heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed.

    For example,...
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    Careful when you wish Two men died and went to...

    Careful when you wish
    Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as...
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    Reward for goodness Three men died in a car...

    Reward for goodness
    Three men died in a car accident and met Jesus himself at the Pearly Gates.

    The Lord spoke unto them saying, "I will ask you each a simple question. If you tell the truth I...
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    A forester and lawyer A forester and a lawyer...

    A forester and lawyer
    A forester and a lawyer were in car accident and showed up at the pearly gates together.

    St. Peter greets them at the pearly gates and takes them to the homeswhere they will...
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