-
Frog Jokes
Three frogs walked into a bar, the fourth frog ducked.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are frogs so happy?
They eat watever bugs them!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a frog wear on St. Patrick's day?
Nothing!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the frog dress up for on Halloween?
A prince.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How many frogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One frog and 37 light bulbs, slippery hands, ya know.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.
-
What's green and jumps?
A frog!! (groan!)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's green and dangerous?
A frog with a hand-grenade.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's white on the outside, and green on the inside?
A frog sandwich!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you say to a hitch-hiking frog?
Hop in!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do frogs do with paper?
Rip-it!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the first book a tadpole reads?
Metamorphosis by Kafka.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happens when you mix a frog with a bathtub scrubby-mit?
A rubbit!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes?
He liked a good croak and dagger.
-
What happened to the frog's car when his parking meter expired?
It got toad!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's green green green green green?
a frog rolling down a hill
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I was walking down the alley one day and I saw a frog kicking a can.
I asked him what he was doing.
He said, "I'm moving!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so could he!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell if a frog doesn't have ears?
You yell "Free Flies" and he doesn't come.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you confuse a frog?
Put it in a round bowl and tell it to take a nap in the corner.
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you apologize to a witch?
Ribbit!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a frog say when it sees somethin' great?
Toadly awesome!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do you call a frog with no legs?
It doesn't matter- he won't come anyway.
What do you call a frog with legs?
Dinner.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did one frog say to another?
You're such a WART!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog croak?
Because he ate a poisonous fly!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is a frog's favorite game?
Croaket
-
What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a Romulan frog use for camoflage?
A croaking device!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What happened to the cat and frog when they got run over?
The cat had nine lives, the frog just croaked.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog say meow?
He was learning a foreign language.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How come the frog didn't get to be the Easter Bunny?
Slippery hands...they were afraid he'd drop the eggs!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog go to the hospital?
He needed a "hopperation" !
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What is the thirstiest frog in the world?
The one who drinks Canada Dry!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What's red and green and goes 175 miles an hour?
A frog in a blender.
What do you get if you add milk?
Frog nog!
What happens if you drink frog nog?
You Croak!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do ya call a frog's favorite soda?
Croaka-Cola!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the motorcycle rider buy a pet frog?
To pick the flies out from between his teeth!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?"
-"No!... I always walk this way!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Waiter... Waiter... Do you have frog legs?"
-"Yes Sir!"
"Then hop on over to the kitchen and get me a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How deep can a frog go?
Knee-deep Knee-deep!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What does a bankrupt frog say?
"Baroke, baroke, baroke."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What has more lives that a cat?
A frog that goes croak every night.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why are frogs such liars?
Because they are amFIBians.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
How can you tell a frog doesn't have ears?
They don't move when a car is coming toward them.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
What did the frog do after it heard a funny joke?
It started to croak up!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why did the gag-writer turn green?
Cause the gag-writer was sick of writing frog jokes!
-
Two guys were in a car stopped at a red light. The light finally turned green, but the driver didn't notice.
The passenger said, "Er, it's green."
After a moment, the driver responded, "A frog?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A librarian is working away at her desk when she notices that a chicken has come into the library and is patiently waiting in front of the desk.
When the chicken sees that it has the librarian's attention, it squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian complies, putting a couple of books down in front of the chicken.
The chicken quickly grabs them and disappears.
The next day, the librarian is again disturbed by the same chicken, who puts the previous day's pile of books down on the desk and again squawks,
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
The librarian shakes her head, wondering what the chicken is doing with these books, but eventually finds some more books for the chicken.
The chicken disappears.
The next day, the librarian is once again disturbed by the chicken, who squawks (in a rather irritated fashioon, it seems),
"Book, book, book, BOOK!"
By now, the librarian's curiosity has gotten the better of her, so she gets a pile of books for the chicken, and follows the bird when it leaves the library.
She follows it through the parking lot, down the street for several blocks, and finally into a large park. The chicken disappears into a small grove of trees, and the librarian follows.
On the other side of the trees is a small marsh. The chicken has stopped on the side of the marsh.
The librarian, now really curious, hurries over and sees that there is a small frog next to the chicken, examining each book, one at a time. The librarian comes within earshot just in time to hear the frog saying,
"Read it, read it, read it..."
-
There once was a little frog who wanted to take out a home improvement loan to fix up his pad. His name is Kermit Jagger.
He hopped over to his local bank, went up to the teller and said, "Hi, I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
The teller replied, "You need to see our loan officer. Her name is "Patricia Black."
So the frog hops over to the loan officer's desk and sits down. When Patricia arrives she ask, "What can I do for you?"
The frog says, "I'd like to take out a loan to fix up my pad."
Patricia asked, "What do you have for collateral?"
After thinking for a couple of moments about what he could offer the frog reaches into his little froggy pocket and pulls out a small white elephant.
"This is a very unusual form of collateral." said Patricia. "I'll have to check with our bank president to see if it's ok."
Patricia goes to the president and says, "There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who want's a home loan and this white elephant is all he is offering for collateral. What should I do?"
The bank president takes the small white elephant and after carefully examining it hands it back to Patricia and says,
"It's a nick-knack Patty Black give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
-
(When you tell this, you have to do the frog's lines while stretching your mouth wide.)
A wide-mouthed frog went to the zoo to see what the other animals feed their offspring.
"Mrs. Elephant," said the wide-mouthed frog, "What do you feed your babies?"
"I feed them elephant milk," said the elephant.
"Oh, that's nice." (<--- in the wide-mouthed enunciation.)
She walked on to the hippopotamus. Mrs. Hippopotamus, what do you feed your babies?"
"I feed them hippopotamus milk."
"Oh, that's nice."
Next, she encountered the lion. "Mrs. Lion, what do you feed your babies?"
"I feed them wide-mouthed frogs."
(Scrunching your mouth up as tight as possible --->) "Oh, that's nice."
-
A frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and was told, "You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you."
The frog said, "That's great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?"
"No," said the psychic, "Next semester in her biology class."
-
Baby Frog: Mama, who is smarter- a chicken or a frog?
Mama Frog: We are of course!!
Baby Frog: How do you know?
Mama Frog: Well, who ever heard of Kentucky Fried Frog?
-
There was a really cute princess walking through the woods, and she heard a voice calling,
"Hey Really Cute Princess!"
She looked around and didn't see anyone but a frog. She started to walk on but the frog called again.
"Hey Really Cute Princess, if you take me home and let me sleep on your pillow, I will turn back into a Handsome Prince!"
It had been a very boring day so she decided to give it a try even though she really didn't believe the frog.
The Really Cute Princess took the frog home with her and let him sleep on her pillow. When she got up the next day what do you think she found?
There on her pillow sat a really Handsome Prince.
Do you believe the story?
Well neither did her mother!
Posting Permissions
- You may not post new threads
- You may not post replies
- You may not post attachments
- You may not edit your posts
-
Forum Rules
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks