SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE !

> > What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
> > Juan on Juan
> >
> > Whats the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
> > The position of the dirt bag
> >
> > Why is divorce so expensive?
> > Because it's worth it.
> >
> > What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
> > Doughnuts?

What did the Mexican fireman call his 2 sons- Jose and
Hose B
> >
> > Why is air a lot like sex?
> > Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
> >
> > What do you call a smart blonde?
> > A golden retriever.
> >
> > What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
> > 45 lbs
> >
> > What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
> > 45 minutes
> >
> > What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
> > Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> >
> > Why do men want to marry virgins?
> > They can't stand criticism.
> >
> > Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
> > good-looking?
> > Because those men already have boyfriends.
> >
> > What's the difference between a new husband and a dog?
> > After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
> >
> > What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
> > The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
> > driving.
> >
> > Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
> > Because they have cotton balls.
> >
> > What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW?
> > A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
> >
> > What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
> > "Are you sure it's mine?"
> >
> > Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
> > Mace will do that to you.
> >
> > Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
> > Everyone has the same DNA.
> >
> > Why do drivers' education classes in redneck schools use the car only on
> >
> > Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
> > Because on Tuesdays and Thursdays, the Sex Ed class uses it.
> >
> > What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
> > other?
> > A speech impediment.
> >
> > What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
> > half-mast?
> > They're hiring.
> >
> > What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
> > A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
> > along with...a recipe.
> >
> > How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
> > Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
> >
> > What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
> > fairytale?
> > A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." - A southern fairytale
> >
> > begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this Shoot...".