Marriage Advice Top 2 Marriage Secrets

[sherlyk]

Marriage Advice Top 2 Marriage Secrets

There are two top tips to having a great marriage that you can put to use in your love life to fix relationship problems starting today.

1. Turn Conflict Into Caresses. You will have conflict in any marriage. That's a given. It's gonna happen and it isn't bad. But studies have shown that how you manage the conflict is the key to how well your relationship will endure. Relationships where partners scream a lot, scorn each other, and/or treat each other with contempt during conflict are unhealthy, and they are unlikely to last.

Conflict is going to happen, spending time learning how to handle it in ways that don't damage the marriage will keep your partnership healthy. So the first secret is to minimize conflict damage. There are books and courses and counselors that can help you with this, but if conflict is killing your relationship, get trained on how to deal with it better. It's not hard to learn. The book on Having the Relationship You Want has a complete section on how to Turn Conflict Into Caresses.

2. Play. Here's the equation. The more play, the less fighting. The more fighting, the less play. How much play you have in your relationship determines its quality, to a large degree. There is a simple inverse relationship. The more of one you have, the less of the other. So tip number one is to have some play time with your mate at least weekly.

Do you at least plan a date night? If you've been fighting a lot, it may take a while to figure out how to play again, but you both played together when you first got into the relationship. Spending some time figuring out how to play with your mate can pay off immediately and in the long term.

There are entire books that can be and have been written about each of these topics, so this is obviously just an introduction, but these are a great place to start to improve your marriage today.

[rameshxavier]

gooooooooood post thanks

[sherlyk]

Marriage Advice

# Never assume.

# Compliment more than you criticize.

# For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.

# Remember that it is ok to do things differently (e.g. there is more than one way to peel a potato or fold the laundry).

# Always make time for the two of you.

# Marry someone that you enjoy listening and talking to.

# Remember that marriage is sometimes a bed of roses and sometimes there are thorns.

# Remember that the best gift that you can give your children is to love their mother/father.

# Be fair! Split the housework, spending money, etc evenly. This way you are never resentful of your partners contributions (or lack of) or expenditures.

# Never go to bed angry. (Unless it's 3a.m. and you're exhausted, angry, and not thinking straight.)

# Remember that people do fight. It's how you do it that matters.

# Before starting an argument, consider if it's really worth it.

# Agree to disagree.

# Never, ever mention the "D" word (divorce).

# Do you want to be right or do you want to be married?

# Respect each other's privacy.

# Remember that "love is like childhood. You need to learn to share."

# Marriage is not 50/50, it's two people giving 100/100 all of the time.

# Surprise each other now and then.

# The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!

# Have date night!

# Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".

# Hold hands.

# Hug & kiss every day (several times a day actually!).

# Always believe that you got better than you deserved.

# Be quick to say "I'm sorry".

# Choose the one you love, then love the one you choose.

# Keep the in-laws out of your marriage!

# Love isn't always a feeling, it's a decision.

# Hang in there. It's worth it.

# Play nice, play often, love much.

# Never air your dirty laundry as a couple in public.

# Never keep secrets from each other.

# Be each other's champion. No matter what, take your husband
or wife's side first!

# Communication is the key!

# Always respect each other.

# Never underestimate the power of a good belly-laugh and don't be afraid to laugh at yourself.

# It's the little things that matter most.

# Never use the words 'Always' and 'Never' in a fight.

# It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.

# Never compare your marriage to others. What you see on the outside is not always what it is on the inside.

# Don't make love in the same place/position everytime. Variety is the spice of life!


BizHat.com - Health

[sherlyk]

What does it take to be happy in a relationship?
If you’re working to improve your marriage, here are a few habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time
Remember the beginning of your relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love? Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while their partner sleeps.

2. Cultivate common interests
After the passion settles down, it’s common to realise that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimise the importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side
Rather than one partner lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode
If and when they have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does wrong
If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work
Our skin has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch” (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning
This is a great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel
This tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day
Call your partner at home or at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner
Happy couples are pleased to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact - hand on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off but rather just saying that they belong with each other.
Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a discrete behaviour that you do automatically and that takes little effort to maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behaviour to become a habit. So select one of the behaviours in the list above to do for 21 days and voila, it will become a habit...and make you happier as a couple. And if you fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.
If there was one key to happiness in love and life, and possibly even success, it would be to go into each conversation you have with this commandment to yourself front and foremost in your mind, "Just Listen."

BizHat.com - Health