ENJOY IT!

[antivirus-software]

SUMMER TIME!!!

YOU

KNOW

ITS

SUMMER

WHEN

THE

GIRLS

BELLY BUTTONS

HANG

OUT!!!

[antivirus-software]

This time I will say it to u
What I feel about u
I will say it I sware

I

I L

I Lo
I Lov
I Love Y
I Love Yo
I Love Youguart

[antivirus-software]

Wife

Love is life
Life is wife
Wife is a knife
That cuts the life




Sins
S is evil
S is a sin
Sins r forgiven
So lets begin

When your opponent is down, kick him.

Experience varies directly with equipment ruined.

Good, fast, cheap: choose any two.

You can't make a baby in a month by getting nine women pregnant.

Discoveries are often made by not following instructions.

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and say the opposite.

If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.

Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.

Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.

No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy.

We are not retreating, we are advancing in another direction.

Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.

Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.

[antivirus-software]

"Death is nothing, but to live defeated and without glory is to die every day."
- "Napoleon Bonaparte" from "Hornblower During a Crisis" by C.S. Forester

“Call no man happy until he is dead.”
- “someone or other” from “Hornblower During a Crisis” in “The Last Encounter” by C.S. Forester

“Life was a succession of pills that had to be swallowed"."
- “Horatio Hornblower” from “Hornblower and the ‘Atropos’”, by C.S. Forester, Ch. 3

“If variety was the spice of life, thought Hornblower, his present existence must be an Oriental curry."
- “Horatio Hornblower” from “Hornblower and the ‘Atropos’”, by C.S. Forester, Ch. 14

"Each of us can find a maggot in our past which will happily devour our futures."
- "Horatio Hornblower" from "Horatio Hornblower" in "The Fire Ships"

"I would consider it my duty to help your release from this world."
- "Horatio Hornblower" from "Horatio Hornblower" in "The Fire Ships"

“I thank God daily for the good fortune of my birth, for I am certain I would have made a miserable peasant”
- “Lord Edrington” from “Horatio Hornblower” in “The Wrong War”

“Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.”
- “Captain Sawyer” from “Horatio Hornblower” in “Mutiny” (taken from “King Henry” from “King Henry IV Part 2”, by William Shakespeare, Act III, scene i)

“It's not history that concerns me, Horatio. It's the future. It's far more uncertain.”
- “Archie Kennedy” from “Horatio Hornblower” in "Mutiny”

"A hit, a palpable hit."
- “Archie Kennedy” from “Horatio Hornblower” in "Retribution" (taken from “Osric” from “Hamlet”, by William Shakespeare, Act V, scene ii)

“Poor Horatio, so quick to give, so slow to accept the simplest gift.”
- “Archie Kennedy” from “Horatio Hornblower” in “Retribution”


“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
- Woody Allen

“Nothing succeeds like a successor.”
- Jimmy Carter

“I’d like to have world peace. If that doesn’t work, I’d like to take over the world.”
- Some girl

“When you die you lose a very important part of your life.”
- Brook Shields

“I am, therefore I think.”
- Skeet Ulrich

“Buddha says ‘If you were bad in a past life, you get to be famous in this one.’”
- David Duchovny

“Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War.
2) Advising the President.
3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin.”
- David Letterman

“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandfather did, not screaming in terror like his passengers.”
- Michael Aulfrey

“I not short, I’m Asian.”
- Tiffany Kho’s cousin Kevin

"I know more than you, because you think you know something, whereas I know I know nothing."
- Socrates

[antivirus-software]

You = Lovely
You = Perfect
You = Beautiful
You = Amazing
You = sweet
You = Cute
You = gorgeous
You = Fantastic
You = Fabulous
me = lier! :)


Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means...
Without
Information
Fighting
Everytime!


WIFE satys No, it means -
With
Idiot
for
Ever

[Guttu]

Ha HA HA


thnx for putting in one thread
keep updatin

[ranees]

Some good jokes .. Especially the last one about wife.

[antivirus-software]

[antivirus-software]

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.

Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.

One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."

"Very good, William," cooed the teacher.

"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.

"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher.

Finally, Little Johnny raises his hand.

With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.

"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians, and they all attacked at one time. He killed every one of them with his two guns."

The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"

"It'll teach those Indians not to f*ck with the Lone Ranger."

[antivirus-software]

1) You can enjoy beer all night long

2) You don't have to take beer out to dinner

3) Beer is never late

4) Hangovers Leave eventualy

5) Beer never has a headache

6) You can take beer with you in the trunk of your car

7) Beer doesn't have hair where it doesn't belong

8) Beer doesn't have a mother in law

9) Beer is always satisfying

10) Beer is always wet

11) You can share beer with women

12) Beer goes down easily

13) Beer will never nag

14) Beer always looks good

15) You don't have to respect beer in the morning

(srry if I offended any women )