a ready joke

[ftvfatboy]

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness
to the stand in a trial--a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know
me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy. And frankly,
you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you
cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about
them behind their backs. You think you're a rising big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he
pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do
you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley
since he was a youngster, too. I used to baby-sit him for
his parents. And he, too, has been a real disappointment
to me. He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem. The
man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his
law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.
Yes, I know him."

At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence
and called both counselors to the bench. In a very quiet
voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if
she knows me, I'll put you both in jail for contempt!"






Pakistan Joke....

Scene: trench warfare on Pakistan border, Sikh regiment on one side,
suddenly Kartar Singh gets a bright idea, shouts! "Oye Abdul!"
Guy pops up from other trench
"Kya hai be"
BANG shot dead!
"Oye Karim"
2 guys stand up, "Kya hai saala"
BANG BANG both khalaas
"Oye Mustafa!"
2 more, BANG-BANG! dono saale khalaas!
Pakis get worried, they think saala Sardarji log, when did they
get so smart? Decided to try it themselves.
"Abe Gurdev Singh"
silence
"Oye Gurdev Singh!!"
silence
"O bhai, Gurdev Singh!"
"Oye Gurdev Singh ko kaun bula raha hai re?"
Paki gets up, "Mein boola raha hoon"
BANG!

[ftvfatboy]

1. What is height of Fashion?

Dhoti with a zip

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2. What is height of Secrecy?

Offering blank visiting cards
.

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3. What is height of Activelaziness?

Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk.

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4. What is height of Laziness?

Marrying a pregnant woman.

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5. What is height of Craziness?

Getting a blank paper Xeroxed.

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6. What is height of Forgetfulness?

Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

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7. What is height of Stupidity?

A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door.

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8. What is height of Honesty?

A pregnant woman taking one and a half ticket.

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9. What is height of Suicide?

A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

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10. What is height of De-hydration?

A cow giving milk powder.