Animal Jokes....... {CLEAN}

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What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set!

What's the coldest fish in the sea?
A blue whale!

What did the sardine call the submarine?
A can of people!

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?
You can't tuna fish!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea?
Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside!

How do the fish get to school?
By octobus!

Why did the lobster blush?
Because the sea weed!

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What kind of money do fishermen make?
Net profits!

What do you get if you cross a salmon, a bird's leg and a hand?
Birdsthigh fish fingers!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

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What kind of fish goes well with ice-cream?
Jellyfish!

What did the boy fish say to his girlfriend?
'Your plaice or mine'!

Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the 'Kelp-wanted' adds!

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Why is a fish easy to weigh?
Because it has its own scales!

Why are fish boots the warmest ones to wear?
Because they have electric 'eels!

Why are dolphins cleverer than humans?
Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish!

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Why are gold fish orange?
The water makes them rusty!

Who held the baby octopus to ransome?
Squidnappers!

What part of a fish weighs the most?
It's scales!

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What fish do road-menders use?
Pneumatic krill!

What happens when sharks take their clothes off?
They go sharkers!

What game do fish like playing the most?
Name that tuna!

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What do naked fish play with?
Bare-a-cudas!

What do you get if you cross a big fish with an electricity pylon?
An electric shark!

Who sleeps at the bottom of the sea?
Jack the kipper!

What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune!

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Flea Jokes

What is the most faithful insect?
A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them!

What insect runs away from everything?
A flee!

What is the difference between a flea and a wolf?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!

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What to you call a Russian flea?
A Moscow-ito!

Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet?
"Why are we running so fast?
" said one Because it says "Tear along the dotted line" What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear?
A space invader!

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea?
Bugs Bunny!