Q. What does CHAOS stand for?
A. The Chiefs Have Arrived On Scene.


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Pin Puller

When the employees of a restaurant attended a fire safety seminar, they watched a fire official demonstrate the proper way to operate an extinguisher. "Pull the pin like a hand grenade," he explained, "then depress the trigger to release the foam."
Later an employee was selected to extinguish a controlled fire in the parking lot. In her nervousness, she forgot to pull the pin.
The instructor hinted, "Like a hand grenade, remember?"
In a burst of confidence she pulled the pin -- and hurled the extinguisher at the blaze.


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Here Kitty Kitty

One evening, a resident of a small rural town called the local volunteer fire department to request assistance in removing her cat from a tree.
Since this was a "questionable" call, the fire control dispatcher called the fire chief at home to ask if he wanted to respond. The chief said sure, call out the department, since it was early evening and it shouldn't be a problem for the volunteers to respond.
The fire department responded with a rescue truck which had an extension ladder. The tree, however, was too tall and willowy to support the weight of the extension ladder. Rather than send men back to the fire hall to bring the aerial ladder truck, one of the firefighters suggested an alternate course of action.
Two of the firefighters supported the ladder while a third climbed high enough to tie a rope around the tree at about half its height.
The other end of the rope was tied to a trailer hitch on a pickup truck, with the truck slowly driven forward, forcing the tree to bend over.
One firefighter was poised to grab the cat as soon as it was within his reach. The knot securing the rope to the trailer hitch slipped free.
The cat, was last seen airborne, headin' south.....


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If H 2 0 is on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
K 9 P


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Hazmat Identifing Method

How firefighter's identify a HAZMAT chemical using the new:

"Tri-Cop-Scope Method"

Method 1. Officer standing/Car running: Not hazardous
Method 2. Officer unconscious/Car running: Toxic fumes.
Method 3. Officer unconscious/Car stalled: Oxygen displacing chemical.
Method 4. Officer/Car both melting: Acidic chemical.
Method 5. Officer/Car on fire: Extremely flammable.


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Bikers

There were two guys on a motercycle driving down the road. The driver was wearing a leather jacket that didn't have a zipper or any buttons.
Finally he stopped the bike and told the other guy,"I can't drive anymore with the air hitting me in my chest." After thinking for a while he decided to put the coat on backwards to block the air from hitting him. So they were driving down the road and they came around this curb and wrecked.
The farmer that lived there called the police and told them what happened. The police asked him, "are either of them showing any life signs?"
The farmer said, "Well, that first one was 'til I turned his head around the right way."