Once there lived a woman who had a maddening
passion for baked beans. She loved them but
unfortunately, they had always had a very
embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her.
Then one day she met a man and fell in love.

When it became apparent that they would marry
she thought to herself, "He is such a sweet and
gentle man, he would never go for this carrying
on." She made the supreme sacrifice and gave up
beans. Some months later her car broke down on
the way home from work. Since she lived in the
country she called her husband and told him that
she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she passed a small diner and the odor
of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that
she would walk off any ill effects by the time she
reached home.

So, she stopped at the diner and before she knew
it, she had consumed three large orders of baked
beans. All the way home she putt-putted, and upon
arriving home she felt reasonably sure she could
control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and
exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for
dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her
to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just
as he was about to remove the blindfold from his
wife, the telephone rang. He made her promise not
to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went
to answer the telephone.

The baked beans she had consumed were still
affecting her and the pressure was becoming almost
unbearable, so while her husband was out of the
room she seized the opportunity, shifted her weight
to one leg and let it go.

It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer
truck running over a skunk in front of pulpwood mill.
She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and
ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked
cabbage.

Keeping her ears tuned to the conversation in the
other room, she went on like this for another ten
minutes. When the telephone farewells signaled the
end of her freedom, she fanned the air a few more
times with her napkin, placed it on her lap and folded>
her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself.

She was the picture of innocence when her husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long, he asked her
if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not.

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was
surprised!! There were twelve dinner guests seated
around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday"!!!