Now that Vancouver is to host the 2010 Winter Olympics
these are some questions people all over the world
are asking! Believe it or not these questions about
Canada were posted on an International Tourism
Website.

Obviously the answers are jokes, and the questions are
hilarious; but sadly the questions were really asked.
(really sad. )

Q:I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do
the plants
grow? (UK)
A:We import all plants fully grown and then just sit
around
and watch them die.

Q:Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street?
(USA) A:Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q:I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto-can I
follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A:Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of
water.

Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada?
(Sweden)
A:So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q:It is imperative that I find the names and addresses
of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A:Let's not touch this one.

Q:Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can
you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver,
Edmonton and Halifax? (UK) A:What did your last slave
die of?

Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing
in Canada? (USA)
A:A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south
of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your
North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every
Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q:Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A:Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when
you get here and we ll send the rest of the
directions.

Q:Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A:Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q:Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)
A:Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering
Ger-man-y, which is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna
Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and
in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come
naked.

Q:Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A:No, WE don't stink.

Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain
of youth. Can you sell it in Canada?(USA)
A:Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q:Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia
where the female population is smaller than the male
population? (Italy) A:Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q:Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A:Only at Thanksgiving.

Q:Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk
available all year round? (Germany)
A:No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegans. Milk
is illegal.

Q:I have a question about a famous animal in Canada,
but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with
horns. (USA)
A:It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent,
eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You
can scare them off by spraying yourself with human
urine before you go out walking.

Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
(USA)
A:Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Send this on to other true Canadians