Just silly JOKES

[HarL]

Teacher and student

Teacher: Okay, today I want you all make a sentence using the word ‘flour’. Mathew stands up and tells me your sentence.

Mathew: My mother baked a cake in the kitchen.

Teacher: Where is the ‘flour’?

Mathew: It’s already in the cake, are you really a teacher? Dah antar yaya

Teacher and student 2

Teacher: What is the formula for water?
Jack: H I J K L M N O
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Jack: Yesterday, you told that formula for water is H to O. dah antar yaya

NEW SECRETARY
Two guys were discussing the new secretary at their office. John to George: "Man, I dated her last Tuesday and we had wonderful sex. She's a lot better in bed than my wife!"

Two days later. George to John: "Well, I dated her too and we had sex as well, but I still think your wife is better in bed!" dah kot

When Chinese speak an English
Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan? ( anyone)
Operator : Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent..

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's
this urgent matter about?

Caller: Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan ( no one ) was
involved in an accident.. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being
sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then
the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't
have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?

Operator: I'm Saw Lee. (sorry)

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry.. Now give me your name!!

[HarL]

A Visit To The Doctor" A couple, aged 65 and 67, went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked them, "What can I do for you?" The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?" The doctor looked confused but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse." And he charged them $20.00. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, "Please explain, just exactly what are you trying to find out?" The old man responded, "We're not trying to find out anything. She is married, and we can't go to her house. I am married, and we can't go to my house. The Sheraton Hotel charges $52.00 and The Hilton Hotel charges $37.00. We do it here for $20.00, and I get $18.00 back from the insurance company for a visit to the doctor's office.





INHERITANCE BLUES
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"
"My mother died in August," his friend replied, "and left me £25,000. Then in September my father died, leaving me £90,000."
"Losing both parents in two months. No wonder you're depressed."
"And last month my aunt died, and left me £15,000." His friend continued.
"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad."
"Then this month," concluded, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
DOG BITES
A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. "Does your dog bite?"
"No."
A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg.
"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!" the man says indignantly.
"That's not my dog." Dah antar yaya
IN THE WAITING ROOM

I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you're the new father of twins!"

The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife's room.

About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith's wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company."

The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air."
The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."

[HarL]

AN OLD COUPLE AT THE DOCTORS
An old couple go to the doctor. The old man goes first to have his physical. When the doctor is done with him, he sends the old man back into the waiting room and calls the old woman in.

The doctor tells her, "Before we proceed with the examination, I would like to talk to you about your husband first."

The old woman says, "Oh, no, it's his heart. I told him to lay off the eggs."

The doctor says, "Well, I asked your husband how he is feeling and he told me he felt great. He said that when he got up to go to the bathroom, he opened the door and God turned the light on for him. When he was done, he would shut the door and God would turn the light out for him."

The old woman responded, "Damn it, he's peeing in the fridge again!"



AH BENG

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
"My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610"

====================================
Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.

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Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

===========================================
Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.

=========================================
Ah Beng : People consider me as a "GOD"
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.

===========================================
Ah Beng complained to the police: "Sir, all items are missing,
except the TV in my house."
Police: "How the thief did not take TV?"
Ah Beng : "I was watching TV news..."

=========================================
Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying "Parking Fine"
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole "Thanks for complement."

=============================================
How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases
the board.

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Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so. He replied that the weather forecast
announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would
be hot.

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Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings. He picks it up and
Says "Hello, how do u know I’m here?"

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Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?

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Teacher: "I killed a person" convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is "u will go to jail"

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Ah Beng told his servant: "Go and water the plants!"
Servant: "It's already raining."
Ah Beng : "So what? Take an umbrella and go."

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A man asked Ah Beng why Ahmad Badawi goes walking in the Evening and not
in the morning Ah Beng replied Ahmad Badawi is PM not AM

[emet]

heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehe

[DHOA]

What is blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint