Hahahah.........

[Arson]

These are really funny jokes! I laughed pretty hard.

[shweta]

The taxi driver & S.T Peter

A priest and a taxi driver both died and went to heaven. St. Peter was at the Pearly gates waiting for them.
“Come with me”, said St. Peter to the taxi driver.
The taxi driver did as he was told and followed St. Peter to a mansion. It had anything you could imagine from a bowling alley to an Olympic size pool.

“Wow, thank you”, said the taxi driver.
Next, St. Peter led the priest to a rugged old shack with a bunk bed and a little old television set.
“Wait, I think you are a little mixed up”, said the priest. “Shouldn’t I be the one who gets the mansion? After all I was a priest, went to church every day, and preached God’s word.”
“Yes, that’s true. But during your sermons people slept. When the taxi driver drove, everyone pray

[rameshxavier]

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question.

St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it."

The teacher answered quickly, "That would be the Titanic." St. Peter let him through the gate.

St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn't *really* need all the odors that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: "How many people died on the ship?"

Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. "1,228," he answered.

"That's right! You may enter."

St. Peter turned to the lawyer. "Name them."

[shweta]

The indian life is best because…


* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.
* You make tea in a saucepan.
* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.
* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

* You have a ‘Singer Brother’ sewing machine at home.
* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn’t talk to her for ten years.
* You call an older person you’ve never met before “uncle”.
* You hide everything from your parents.
* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.
* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.
* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.
* Everyone is a family friend.
* Everyone always called you for help on homework.
* You read law, medicine or engineering at university.
* You were thick so you read computer science or business instead.
* You know no one who has read music.
* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.
* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.
* Your best friend got married at the age of 16.
* You only make telephone calls after 6pm.
* You like the meat well done.
* You eat onions with everything.
* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.
* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
* You say you hate Indian films(/songs) but secretly watch(/hear) them with your parents.
* You teach Westerners swearwords in your language.
* You order Indian food in your own language to impress the people you’re with but the waiters don’t understand you.
* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.
* You always say “open the light” instead of “turn the light on”.
* You secure your baggage with a rope.
* You’re walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all twenty-five members of your family who have come to pick you up.
* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs. overweight.
* You go back to your parents’ country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.
* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.
* To your American friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.
* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names.
* Your parents call all your friends “Beta” whether they are Indian or not.
* If you aren’t married and you turn 25, your parents start wringing their hands and proclaim that it’s too late.
* You are sick and tired of answering questions about “the dot”.
* Your friends could not explain your religion to someone if they tried.
* You could not explain your religion to someone if you tried.
* Your parents push the concept of an arranged marriage on you and try and demonstrate how well it works whenever they’re not fighting.
* You notice that whenever you go to another Indian’s house, your parents always talk about businesses… especially if they’re for sale.
* The second you pull out of someone’s driveway, your parents start talking about them.
* Your parents worry what other people will think if you’re not going to be a doctor/lawyer/engineer.
* You’re parent’s always say, “It’s cheaper in India”

[annie]

hii shweta...great jokes and pitures
Thanks....

[yanivc5]

good jokes!

[shweta]

When a girl falls down
She is helped by so
Many people
But
When a boy falls down
Everybody laughs
When a girl licks
Her lips
She is thirsty
When boy licks
His lips
He is tharki
When a girl smiles
She is considered cute
When a boy smiles
He is flirt
Still people say
This is men’s world

[rameshxavier]

Once, in the morning, two idiots were quarelling. The first idiot was saying that there is sun in the sky, while other was claiming that there is moon in the sky.

Then they saw a man passing by and decided to ask him what is there in the sky. Both the idiots went to him and asked whether there is sun in the sky or moon. The man stared at both of them and then replied, "Sorry, I am new in this village."

[rameshxavier]

A Blonde goes to K-Mart to buy curtains.. She said to the salesman,
'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.'

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains
He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for ?'

The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'
The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo .. I've got Windoooooows.......'

[shweta]

What is the answer ?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name…………………….( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst?……………( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right …!!!