Hahahah.........

[shweta]

When a girl falls down
She is helped by so
Many people
But
When a boy falls down
Everybody laughs
When a girl licks
Her lips
She is thirsty
When boy licks
His lips
He is tharki
When a girl smiles
She is considered cute
When a boy smiles
He is flirt
Still people say
This is men’s world

[rameshxavier]

Once, in the morning, two idiots were quarelling. The first idiot was saying that there is sun in the sky, while other was claiming that there is moon in the sky.

Then they saw a man passing by and decided to ask him what is there in the sky. Both the idiots went to him and asked whether there is sun in the sky or moon. The man stared at both of them and then replied, "Sorry, I am new in this village."

[rameshxavier]

A Blonde goes to K-Mart to buy curtains.. She said to the salesman,
'I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.'

The salesman assures her that they have a large selection of pink curtains
He shows her several patterns but the blonde seems to be having a hard time choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The salesman then asks what size curtains she needs.

The blonde promptly replies, 'Seventeen inches.'

'Seventeen inches ?' asked the salesman. 'That sounds very small, what room are they for ?'

The blonde says, 'They aren't for a room, they are for my new computer monitor.'
The surprised salesman replies, 'But Miss, computers do not need curtains !'

The blonde says, 'Hellllooooooooo .. I've got Windoooooows.......'

[shweta]

What is the answer ?

One Night 4 College Students Were Playing Till Late Night And Didn’t Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The Test consisted of 2 questions with the total of 100 Marks.
Q.1. Your Name…………………….( 2 MARKS )
Q.2. Which tyre burst?……………( 98 MARKS )
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right …!!!

[shweta]

Office memo

Dear Staff,
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada sneakers and carrying a Gucci bag we assume that you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress in-between, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday and Sunday.

Lunch Breaks:
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average size. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that’s all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill.
Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Restroom Use:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. There is now a strict 3 minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet pater roll will retract, the stall door will open and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the “Chronic Offender” category.

Surgery:
As long as you are employed here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed will constitute a breach of employment.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation, and input should be directed elsewhere.
Have a nice week.

[rameshxavier]

Husband crying in front of TV


wife:which serial r u watching?

.

.

.



Husband : No serial our marriage CD

[shweta]

A complex love story

Hero loves heroine , but heroine loves the villain.
But villain loves hero’s sister,and hero’s sister loves heroine’s brother
Here, heroine’s brother loves villain’s sister .
But villain’s sister loves hero’s brother. .

Again!, hero’s brother is also interested in heroine , and you already know that heroine loves villain.
Finally two people commit suicide.
Who’re they? ……….. Producer and the Director!!