The customer was dissatisfied with his pair of tailored trousers and decided to take them back to the tailor. However, the tailor was out and only his wife was there at the shop. The customer was rather embarrassed at explaining the problem to her and said, “This pair of trousers is like the ballroom in Westminster Abbey.”

The tailor’s wife was surprised and said, “Sir, there is no ballroom in the Abbey.”

To which the customer replied, “Well, there is no ballroom in this trouser either.”


Three weeks after her wedding day, Joanna called her minister.
"Reverend," she wailed, "John and I had a DREADFUL fight!"
"Calm down, my child," said the minister, "It's not half as bad as you think. Every marriage has to have its first fight!"
"I know, I know!" said Joanna. "But what am I going to do with the BODY?"


Two brothers enlisting in the Army were getting their physicals. During the inspection, the doctor was surprised to discover that both of them possessed incredibly long, oversized penises.

"How do you account for this?" he asked the brothers.

"It's hereditary, sir," the older one replied.

"I see," said the doctor, writing in his file. "Your father's the reason for your elongated penises?"

"No sir, our mother."

"Your mother? You idiot, women don't have penises!"

"I know, sir," replied the recruit, "But she only had one arm, and when it came to getting us out of the bathtub, she had to manage as best she could."