Animal Jokes....... {CLEAN}

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How do you start an insect race?
One, two, flea - go!

How do you find where a flea has bitten you?
Start from scratch!

What is a flea's favorite book?
The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy!

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What did the clean dog say to the insect?
Long time no flea!

Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War?
Robert E Flea!

What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor?
Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go!

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What do you call a cheerful flea?
A hop-timist!

What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear?
Shot it!

What did one flea say to the other after a night out?
Shall we walk home or take a dog?

What did the romantic flea say?
I love you aw-flea!

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How to fleas travel?
Itch hiking!

What is the difference between fleas and dogs?
Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs!

Why did the stupid boy wear a turlte neck sweater?
To hide his flea collar!

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Fly Jokes

How do fireflies start a race?
Ready steady glow!

If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!

How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room!

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What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
A firefly with a short circuit!

Which fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug!

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Why did the firefly keep stealing things?
He was light fingered!

Why were the flies playing football in saucer?
They where playing for the cup!

What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!

Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er!

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Grasshopper Jokes

What is a grasshopper?
An insect on a pogo stick!

What do you call a grasshopper with no legs?
A grasshover!

Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket?
Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper!

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What is green and can jump a mile in a minute?
A grasshopper with hiccups!

What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together?
Chimney Cricket!

Post your comments yaar...

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Insect Jokes

Where would you put an injured insect?
In an antbulance!

What's an insects best chat up line?
Pardon me, but is this stool taken!

What has four wheels and flies?
A rubbish bin!