Teacher: You missed school yesterday didn't you ?
Pupil: Not very much !

Father: I hear you skipped school to play football
Son: No I didn't, and I have the fish to prove it !

Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today.
School Secretary: Who is this ?
Pupil: This is my father speaking !

Father: How do you like going to school ?
Son: The going bit is fine, as is the coming home bit too, but I'm not too keen on the time in-between !