Trust In Your Fellow Officer

A defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial -- it went like this:
Q: Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?
A: No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away.
Q: Officer, who provided this description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?
A: Yes sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer, do you have a locker room in the police station, a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?
A: Yes sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes sir.
Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those officers?
A: You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes defense attorneys have been known to walk through that room.


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A Fishy Story

One cutting edge aquarium saved a lot of money when its owner discovered a means to make the dolphins live forever -- since the dolphins never died, no money needed to be spent on buying new ones. Extending the dolphins' lives required putting a special mixture into their food; one of the ingredients was baby sea gull meat. So one day, one of the workers was sent to the beach to find some. On the way back, baby sea gulls in hand, he had to pass through a forest. In the middle of the path was a sleeping lion. He very carefully stepped over it, only to be handcuffed by a policeman.
"Officer," he said, "what's going on?"
"You're under arrest," said the policeman.
"But why?" he asked.
The policeman replied, "For transporting young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."


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Blonde Trees

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.
"Mam, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road"?
The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here!! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"
Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener."


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Lorraine

There was this cop and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine who was very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work at the station and discovered that a woman rookie officer had joined the force. Her name was Officer Clearly and she was absolutely gorgeous. He became quite besotted with her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But this cop was a loyal man and he wouldn't do anything with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing else he could do but to break up with Lorraine and get it on with the new rookie. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it. One day they went for a walk along the river bank when Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current was strong and it carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing........

"I can see Clearly now Lorraine has gone"