A cop stopped a drunk at about dawn.
The cop asked, "Can you explain why you're out at this hour?"
"If I could," the drunk said, "I'd be home by now!"


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A man was made the police chief in a nudist colony. He liked the job, but putting on the badge was murder!


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Cross your I's And Dot Your T's

The cross-eyed policeman was questioning three cross-eyed suspects.
He turned to the first cross-eyed suspect, and said, "What's your name?"
And the second cross-eyed suspect said, "I wasn't talking to you," and the third cross-eyed suspect said, "I didn't say anything."


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Just Lying Around

A man fell out of a tenth-story window. He's lying on the ground with a big crowd around him.
A cop walks over and says, "What happened?"
The guy says, "I don't know, I just got here."


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Wrong Way Blonde

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street.
Cop: "Do you know where your going?"
Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people are leaving.


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According to the police, if you hold your purse by the strap and under your arm, nothing will ever happen to you....
Unless your name happens to be Bruce.


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K-9 Unit

A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch. The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder. She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a blind policeman!"