French Horn Jokes
How do you get your viola section to sound like the horn section?

Have them miss every other note.

How can you make a trombone sound like a french horn?

Stick your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

What is the difference between a french horn section and a '57 Chevy?

You can tune a '57 Chevy.

What do you get when you cross a French Horn player and a goalpost?

A goalpost that can't march.

How many French horn players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, but he'll spend two hours checking the bulb for alignment and leaks.

There once was a woman who had gone a long time without so much as the hope of having a relationship. When she finally picked up a handsome looking guy and went out with him, her friends were naturally curious as to how it went.
``What's he like?'' said the woman's friend the day after the big event.

``Oh, he's fine, I guess. He's a musician, you know,'' said she.

``Did he have class?'' said the friend.

The friend's ears perked up as the woman said: ``Well, most of the time, yes, but I don't think I'll be going out with him again.''

``Oh? Why not?'' asked the friend.

``Well, he plays the french horn, so I guess it's just habit, but every time we kiss, he sticks his fist in my rear!''