Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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Paradox
Two doctors

Parapet
Pet parrot kept by parachutist

Paratrooper
An army drop out

Parity
Two parrots exactly the same

Parking Space
Always filled with somebody else's car

Partial Eclipse
Half trimmed edge

Party
Dad's supper

Password
Hand a note to someone in class

Pasteurise
Too far to see

Pavement Artist
Someone who draws pictures on his knees

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Pea
A vegeta-pill

Pebble Dash
Running with a stone in your trainer

Pedigree
Degree for posh dogs

Pen Friends
Pigs that get on well together

Perch
Fish kept in a cage

Perspex
Plastic spectacles

Pharmacy
The science of agriculture

Phoney
Fake mobile phone

Phonograph
A chart used by the Post Office to record telephone sales

Physicist
A man who make ginger beer

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Physiotherapy
Medicine mixed with lemonade

Picador
Select an entrance to a bullfight

Pickle
A cucumber in a spot of bother

Pigeon-Toed
Half pigeon, half toad

Pigment
Paints for pigs

Pigswill
How a dead pig leaves things to his family

Pillar Box
What posties sleep on at night

Pillow
Headquarters

Pine
What sad fir trees do

Ping-Pong
Table tennis played by skunks

Pipecleaner
A toothpick wearing long woolly underwear

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Pizzicato
Pizza for cats

Plasma
Mum made by a plastic surgeon

Plus Fours
Trousers worn by maths teachers

Pofaced
The way you are supposed to look reading serious poetry

Politics
A parrot that's swallowed a watch

Pole Vault
Where the expensive poles are locked away

Polygamist
A parrot with more than one wife

Polygon
A dead parrot

Polystyrene
Plastic parrot

Pontoon
Song sung by card players

Populace
Frilly material that people like

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Porcupine
An unhappy slice of bacon

Portable
A cheap piece of furniture to eat off

Posse
A cat from the Wild West

Poultry
A tree that chickens like roosting in

Prawn
One of the small pieces used in the game of chess

Prickly Pear
Two hedgehog

Printer
A man of letters

Professor
A textbook wired for sound

Propaganda
A well behaved and upper-class goose

Prune
A plum that's seen better days

Psychiatrist
Someone who doesn't have to worry as long as other people do

Puddle
What a cross-eyed teacher can't control

Pupils
What you find on the pavement when it has been raining cats and dogs

Punch Line
End of a boxing joke

Putty
Miniature golf

Pygmy
A tiny pig ( Shakespear wrote about one in his play Hamlet)

Pyramid
An organised pile of Egyptian rocks

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Crazy Definitions : Q


Q
A long line that people stand in

Quack
A duck's doctor

Quadruped
Bicycle with 4 pedals

Quadruplets
Four crying out loud !

Quaker
A nervous lady

Quatrain
A railway train with four carriages

Quicksand
The reason the hourglass is ten minute's fast

Quicksilver
Money that's easy to spend

Quince
Five children at one time

Quiz Master
Ask teacher questions he can't answer

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Crazy Definitions : R

Rag and Bone Man
Skeleton working in a clothes shop

Ragamuffin
A toasted teacake made from old clothes

Rainbow
Bow tie for a raindrop

Raisin
A very old and very anxious grape

Raleigh
Explorer who invented the bicycle

Ransom
A four minute miler

Raspberry
Very rude fruit

Rawhide
A nudist's clothes

Razor
An alarm clock for girls

Rebate
Putting another worm onto the hook

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Recited
Going back to take a second look

Recluse
A chinaman going on his second cruise

Remorse
Send coded signal again

Reorientate
A Chinaman returning to China

Repartee
The second party you've been to this week

Research
Looking for something twice

Reverse Charge
Telephone to stop herd of Rhinos squashing you

Rhubarb
Bloodshot celery

Ringleader
The first one in the bath

Road Hog
Pig driving badly

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Romance
Ants in Rome

Rotunda
An author's pen name, as in 'Samuel Clemens rotunda the name Mark Twain'

Rubber Band
See String quartet

Rubber Gloves
Things you put on when you want to wash your hands without getting them wet

Rugged
Feeling tough when you're sitting on the carpet

Runner beans
Special food for atheletes

Rush Hour
When bullrushes go home from work

Rustler
Woman in a tissue paper dress

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Crazy Definitions : S

Sage
A man who knows his onions

Sago
How you start a pudding race

Sand Bank
Where camels keep their savings

Sandpaper
Newspaper designed to be read on the beach

Sandwich
An attempt to make both ends meat

Sapsucker
Vampire who likes fools

Satire
Telling jokes sitting on a tall stool

Saxophone
Saxon telephone

Scales
The part of a fish that weighs the most

Scotch Egg
What you get from chickens fed on whisky

Scrapbook
A boxer's diary