Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?
Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train !

You've failed history again !
Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !

Why was George Washington buried at Mount Vernon ?
Because he was dead !

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How did you do in your tests ?
I did what George Washington did !
What was that ?
Went down in history !

Do you know the 20th President of the United States ?
No, we were never introduced !

Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood, he had to walk 7 miles to school everyday.
Well he should have got up earlier and caught the school bus like everyone else !

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Why did George Washington chop down the cherry tree ?
I'm stumped !

When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ?
I don't know, I wasn't invited !

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Mathematical Jokes...

1+1=Lots of Jokes

I failed every subject except for algebra.
How did you keep from failing that ?
I didn't take algebra !

Teacher: Are you good at math ?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math !

Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please ?
Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy !

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Teacher: Did you parents help you with these homework problems ?
Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself !

Teacher, I can't solve this problem.
Any five year old should be able to solve this one.
No wonder I can't do it then, I'm nearly ten !

Teacher: What's 2 and 2
Pupil: 4
Teacher: That's good
Pupil: Good ?, that's perfect !

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Teacher: If 1+1=2 and 2+2=4, what is 4+4 ?
Pupil: That's not fair you answer the easy ones and leave us with the hard one !

Teacher: How much is half of 8
Pupil: Up and down or across ?
Teacher: What do you mean ?
Pupil: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4 ?
Class: At once !

If there are ten cats in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left ?
None, they were all copycats !

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The teacher was reviewing counting with her first-grade class. "Jackie," she asked, "can you count to 10 without mistakes?"
"Yes," said Jackie, and she did.
"Now, Fred," said the teacher, "can you count from 10 to 20?"
"That depends," said Fred, "with or without mistakes"!

Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Jackie: Yes, teacher. (counting on her fingers at waist level) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Teacher: Good. Now can you count higher?
Jackie: Yes, teacher. (She puts her hands over her head and counts on her fingers.) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

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Teacher: Can you count to 10?
Fred: Yes, teacher-one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
Teacher: Now go on from there.
Fred: Jack, Queen, King.

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Fred: None!
Fred (surprised): Why not?
Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!

TEACHER: Jackie, take 932 from 1,439. What is the difference?
Stella: That's what I say, what's the difference`?

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Fred: I've added these figures ten times.
Teacher: Good work!
Fred: And here are my ten answers !

Why is a dog with a lame leg like adding 6 and 7s?
He puts down the three and carries the one.

Why is six afraid of seven ?
Because seven ate nine.

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What animal is best at math ?
Rabbits, they multiply fastest !

My dog is great at math.
Really ?
Ask him how much is two minus two.
But two minus two is nothing!
That's what he'll answer, nothing!

Teacher: If I gave you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have?
Jackie: Nine.
Teacher: That's not right, you'd have eight.
Jackie: No, Teacher, I'd have nine. I already have one rabbit at home!