Kid Jokes........{ Clean & Cute }

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Pupil: This chicken has spots in it.
Cook: That's OK it's only chickenpox !

What's yellow, thick and often found on school boys ties ?
School custard !

Did you hear about the cruel school cook ?
She beats the eggs and whips the cream !

What's the differnece between school tapioca and frogspawn?
Not a lot!

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Mum: From now on your going to have free school dinners.
Son:But, Mum, I don't want three school dinners, one is more than enough !

Pupil: There is a dead fly in my dinner
Cook: Oh dear, I wonder if it died after tasting it !

How did the dinner lady get an electric shock ?
She stepped on a bun and a current went up her leg !

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Teacher: Why are you the only one in class today ?
Pupil: Because I missed school dinner yesterday !

What's worse than finding a caterpillar in your salad ?
Finding half a caterpillar !

Pupil: This egg is bad
Cook: Don't blame me I only laid the table !

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Dinner Lady: Eat up your greens, they are good for your skin.
Pupil: But I don't want green skin !

Pupil: I thought we got a choice for dinner but there is only sausages and fries.
Dinner Lady: That's the choice, take it or leave it !

Dinner Lady: It's very rude to reach over the table for cakes, haven't you got a tongue in your head ?
Pupil: Yes, but my arms are longer !

Pupil: I don't like cheese with holes
Dinner Lady: Well just eat the cheese and leave the holes on the side of your plate !

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Start of Term

Mother: How was your first day at school ?
Son: It was all right except for some man called "Teacher" who kept spoiling all our fun !

I'm not going back to school ever again
Why ever not ?
The teacher doesn't know a thing, all she does is ask questions !

Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her"

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What are you going to be when you get out of school ?
An old man !

What did you learn in school today ?
Not enough, I have to go back tomorrow !

Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son: How to write
Mother: What did you write ?
Son: I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet !

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Mother: What was the first thing you learned in class ?
Daughter: How to talk without moving my lips !

Teacher: What's big and yellow and comes in the morning to brighten a mothers day ?
Pupil: The school bus !

What's yellow, has wheels and lies on its back ?
A dead school bus !

How do bees get to school ?
By school buzz !

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Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?
Pupil: I get up early !

Teacher: What time do you get up in the morning ?
About an hour and a half after I arrived at school

What would happen if you took the school bus home ?
The police would make you bring it back !

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What is the difference between a school bus driver and a cold ?
One knows the roads and one stops the nose !

Mother: How do you like your new teacher ?
Son: I don't. She told me to sit up the front for the present and then she didn't give me one !

Mother: Does your teacher like you ?
Son: Like me, she loves me. Look at all those X's on my test paper !

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Mother: How did you find school today ?
Daughter: I just got off the bus and there it was !
Son: I'm not going back to school tomorrow !
Father: Why not ?
Well I've been there a whole day, I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk, so what's the use ?

I'm really glad you called me Fred, Dad
Why is that ?
Because when I got to school that's what everybody called me !

Teacher: If this class doesn't stop making so much noise I'll go crazy ?
Class: Too late, we haven't made a sound for an hour!