A certain little boy had been spanked by his father one morning. When his dad came in from the office that evening, the boy called out sulkily, ' Mum ! your husband's just come home.'

John kept pestering his parents to buy a video, but they said they couldn't afford one. So one day John came home clutching a package containing a brand-new video.
'Where in the World did you get the money to pay for that ?' asked his father suspiciously.
'It's OK, Dad,' replied John, 'I've traded the TV in for it.'

What did the dragon say when he saw St George in his shining armour ?
Oh, no, not more tinned food!