It was the first day of school and a new student named
Chandrashekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade.
( This happened in USA ).

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some
American history.
Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for
Chandrashekhar, who had his hand up "Patrick Henry,
1775."

She said, "Very good!" Who said 'Government of the
People, by the
People, for the People, shall not perish from the
Earth?"

Again, no response except from Chandra! shekhar.
"Abraham Lincoln,
1863." said Chandrashekhar.

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should
be ashamed.
Chandrashekhar, who is new to our country, knows more
about its
history than you do."

She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians."

"Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrashekhar put his
hand up.
"General Custer, 1862."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm
gonna puke."

The teacher glares and asks "All right! Now, who
said that?"

Again, Chandrashekhar says, "George Bush to the
Japanese Prime
Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck
this!"

Chandrashekhari jumps out of his chair waving his
hand and shouts to
to the teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky,
1997!"

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, "You
little shit. If
you say anything else, I'll kill you."

Chandrashekhar frantically yells at the top of his
voice, "Gary
Condit to Chandra Levy 2001." The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the
floor, someone
said, "Oh shit, we're f**ked!" and Chandrashekhar
said quietly, "George
Bush, Iraq, 2004 ".
Can u beat it ?



---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Why Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if
they aren't
prepared for the worst answer.
Case-study:


In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
called his first
witness to the stand. The witness was a grand
motherly, elderly woman.


He approached her and asked, "Mrs.Jones, do you know
me?" She
responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've
known you
since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a
big
disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife,
you manipulate
people and talk about them behind their backs. You
think you're a big
shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never
will amount to
anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know
you."


The Lawyer was stunned.


Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the
room and asked,
"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"


She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr.
Bradley since he
was a youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a
drinking
problem. He can't build a normal relationship with
anyone and his law
practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not
to mention he
cheated on his wife with three different women, one of
them was your
wife. Yes, I know him."


The defense attorney almost died.


The judge asked both counsellors to approach the bench
and in a very
quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her
if she knows
me, I'll throw you in jail for contempt."