Lines to painlessly end a bad date
adult

I can't legally use the ladies room until phase 3 of my sex change is complete.

Oh my god that's my husband on that Harley!

Scratching crotch) Those little critters sure are itchy.

All the woman in my family get really fat butts after 40. Guess my turn is just around the corner

One more year and I'll be old enough to apply for a driver's licence.

Do you smell that? I think my colostomy bag is leaking again.

A woman needs a good swat now and again.

Can I borrow 50 bucks 'til my welfare check comes?

(After farting aloud in restaurant) Sorry, trouser cough..heh heh.