Funny Doctor Jokes

[admin]

There was a woman who was interested in getting a boob job, so she went to her doctor, Dr. Smith and questioned him about implants.

He explained that, before you do anything too serious, there is a method that has worked for a lot of my patients.

Every morning when you wake up rub your boobs and say ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me bigger boobies.'' She did this faithfully for weeks and noticed one day that they actually were getting bigger, she was very impressed.

One morning she woke up, late for work and very rushed.
By the time she got on the bus she realized that she forgot to go through her routine.

So standing on the bus, while rubbing her boobs she says ''Scoobie doobie doobie, give me bigger boobies''.

The man standing next to her says, ''You go to Dr. Smith?'' ''Yes,'' she said, ''how did you know?'' He replies ''Hickory dickory dock!''

[admin]

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk, another's a smoker and the third's a gay guy.

The doctor tells each of them that, if they induldge in their bad habit one more time, they will die.

Outside they pass a bar. The drunk says, “I don't care if I die, I need a drink.”

The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and, sure enough, he drops dead.

Meanwhile the smoker and the gay guy are walking along. Then the smoker spots a lit cigarette on the sidewalk.
The gay guy looks over and says, “If you bend down to pick that up, we're both dead.”

[admin]

There was this guy that went to the doctor to get is sperm counted.

The lady behind the desk handed him a jar and said, "Bring it back tomorrow, full." He says, "Okay, I'll be back tomorrow then."

Well he goes home and comes back the next day, and he hands the woman the jar.

She says, "Nothing's in it." The man responds, "Well, I went home and I tried with my right hand and I tried with my left hand and nothing happened.

I called my wife into the room, and she tried with her right hand and she tried with her left hand. Nothing still happened.
Well, we called our neighbour and she came over, and she tried with her right hand ans she tried with her left hand, and still nothing happened.

And the woman behind the counter looked stunned and asked, "You asked your neighbour over to help you!?"

And he says, "Yeah, we couldn't get the jar open."

[admin]

An 80-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up.

The doctor asked him how he was feeling and the 80-year-old said ... "Things are great and I've never felt better. I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. So what do you think about that?" The doctor considered his question for a minute and then began. "I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season.

One day when he was setting off hunting, he was in a bit of a hurry and accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun. As he neared a lake he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water´s edge.

He realised he´d left his gun at home and so couldn´t shoot the magnificent creature but out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it were his favourite hunting rifle and went 'bang, bang'. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?" asked the doctor.

The 80-year-old said, "If you ask me, I'd say somebody else pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver."

The doctor replied, "Funny, that's what I was thinking... !!!"

[admin]

After a visit to the doctor, a woman returns home and tells her husband she has approximately six hours left to live. Of course, they go straight to bed and have some amazing, athletic sex. Half an hour later, the woman asks her husband if they can have sex again. They do, and the sex is even more vigorous and ferocious. An hour later, the woman asks her husband for sex again, and they have a ball-bustin', rib-breaking round of sex. An hour later, the woman wants it again.

"No way," says the husband. I have to get up in the morning. You don't."

[admin]

A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor says "You only have three minutes to live"

The guy says "there must be something you can do"

The doctor says "well there is one thing, I could boil you an egg"

[vaidyasp]

Doctor : kya kharabi hai instrument me??

Doctor saab subah se misscall jaisa ho raha hai

call ek bhi nahi lag raha hai

vibrator to thik hai par nayee nayee ringtones baj rahee hai.

[vaidyasp]

doctor : Teri battery sad chuki hai, tere tower pakad me nahi a rahe hai

do number likh ke deta hu, subah sham karte rehna

tere sms chalu ho jaye ek miss call mujhe dena

patient : Doctor saab misscall ke liye to ayela hun

[j4u_7]

yo this is so funny. you should post more

[Gali]

agree,please write some more.