Jokes time buddies.....

[ftvfatboy]

Britney's stats:

1st marriage: Ended after 55 hours
2nd marriage: Results in baby but in trouble after 14 months.

Britney's personal life is exactly like America's history with Iraq!

* The 1st engagement was much briefer than expected and ended without
fulfillment.
* The 2nd time around, it's a lot more complicated, there's a lot more
fighting, and no one knows when it will end.
* Most importantly, with Britney and with Iraq, we all agree:
should've pulled out earlier.

www.hogwild.net

ALL-ORIGINAL semi-hilarious comedy

[ftvfatboy]

DAMNITOL
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.

ST. MOMMA'S WORT
Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering preschoolers
unconscious for up to six hours.

EMPTYNESTROGEN
Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing
the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't
wait
till they moved out.

PEPTOBIMBO
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an
evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves
flirting.

DUMBEROL
When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ, resulting in
enjoyment of country western music.

FLIPITOR
Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the
urge to flip off other drivers.

PENISCILLIN
Potent antiboyotic for older women. Increases resistance to such lines
as,"You make me want to be a better person ... can we get naked now?"

BUYAGRA
Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping. Increases potency and
duration of spending spree.

Extra Strength BUY-ONE-AL
When combined with Buyagra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy
so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a
book by Dr. Laura.

JACKASSPIRIN
Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday,
anniversary or phone number.

ANTI-TALKSIDENT
A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to
share their life stories with total strangers.

SEXCEDRIN
More effective than Excedrin in creating the, "Not now, dear, I have a
headache" syndrome.

NAGAMENT
When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as nagging
him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it
herself.

[ftvfatboy]

A little girl asked her Mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around
the
block?
Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat."
"What's that mean?" asked the child.
Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage."
The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for
a
walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat,
and
to come to you."
Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with
gasoline,
and scrubbed the dog's backside with it and said, "Okay, you can go
now, but
keep Belle on the leash and only go one time around the block."
The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on
the
leash.
Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?"

( YOUR GONNA LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!! )

The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block,
so
another dog is pushing her home."