The Laws of Ducks
by Ken Fussichen


Duck Law No. 1
If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, looks like a
duck and cooks like a duck, it's a duck


Restatement: All things are known by their attirbutes


Duck Law No. 2
Even under ideal circumstances, no duck, no matter how
noble or well-intentioned, can be an eagle


Restatement: All things must be what they are


Duck Law No. 3
A duck can pretend to be an eagle except in times of adversity


Restatement: Pretense and adversity are inversely
proportional; adversity reveals the true nature of all things


Duck Law No 4
No duck may be an eagle until it abandons its webbed
feet and bill for talons and a beak


Restatement: All things remain as they are until the
attributes that define them are abandoned. Then, and
only then, can they evolve


Duck Law No. 5
Ducks are noble creatures. They shall not be penalized
in the eyes of other creatures because they are not eagles


Restatement: All things are honorable if they are what
they are honestly, even if they are different from you


Duck Law No. 6
The greatest duck that ever was cannot cannot fly as
high as even a modest eagle


Restatement: If one would soar with eagles, do not swim with ducks


Duck Law No. 7
Ducks flock. Eagles fly alone. Ducks and eagles never mingle


Restatement: Choose company wisely


Duck Law No. 8
A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why


Restatement: Sometimes there is no answer.