1. Husband

Santa Singh spoke frantically into the phone, "My
wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

"Is this her first child?" the doctor asked.

"No, you idiot!" Santa shouted. "This is her
husband!"

2. Driving Sleep

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were discussing how they
would like to die.

Santa said, "When I die, I want to go peacefully
like my Grandfather did, in his sleep. I don't want to die
screaming like some of his friends, who also died at the same
time."

Banta asked, "How did his friends die screaming
while your grandfather died sleeping peacefully?"

Santa Singh replied, "His friends were the
passengers in the car he was driving."

3. My name is ....
Once Santa Singh was traveling in a train, a man
came and slapped him by shouting, "oye Santa Singh teri aisi ki
taisi". the man again slaps Santa Singh by shouting out the same
words. This goes

on for at least 15 times, the sitting beside
sardarji asks him as to why he(Santa Singh) was not slapping the man.
Santa Singh replied, "MY NAME IS NOT SANTA SINGH!!!!!!!!".


Parents achievements

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of
their parents achievements to each other.

Santa Singh: Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?

Banta Singh: Yes, I have.

Santa Singh: Well, my father dug it.

Banta Singh: That's nothing, have you ever heard of
Dead Sea?

Santa Singh: Yes, I have. Banta Singh:

Well, my father killed it

A sardar, a Madrasi and a Gujarati were waiting for
a bus when a dangerous-looking guy approached them. He suddenly
pulled out a syringe with blood inside it and said in a menacing
tone, "Give me all your valuables or I'll pierce you with this
needle. This contains AIDS infected blood!"

Our friends were naturally alarmed - all except the
sardar. The Madrasi immediately gave away all his valuables. The
Gujju bargained with the stranger and gave away half of
his belongings.

The sardar, however, was unfazed. He refused to part
with his money. In anger and frustration, the guy pricked the
sardar with the needle and ran away. The alarmed Madrasi and
Gujju asked the sardar, "How could you do this? Now you will get
AIDS surely!".
The sardar coolly replied, "No! I won't! I am wearing a
condom".


13. Urine Test
Two sardarjis were sitting outside a clinic. One of
them wascrying like anything. So the other asked, "Why are you
crying?" The first replied "I came here for blood test" Second one
asked,"So? Are you afraid?"

First one replied, "No, not that. During the blood
test they cut my finger"
Hearing this the second one started crying. The
first one astonished and asked other, "Why are you crying?"
The other replied, "I have come for my urine test."


15. Neither Do I
Santa Singh applied for an engineering position at
an MNC office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same
job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked
to take a test by the Department manager. Upon completion of the
test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the
questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your
interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".

Santa: "And why would you be doing that? We both got
9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!"

Manager: "We have made our decision not on the
correct answers,but on the one question that you got wrong."

Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be
better than the other?"

Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you
got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote
'Neither do I'!"

17. The Train Driver
One train, which was going peacefully on the
rail-tracks, deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby
and
then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the
next Railwaystation the driver was caught :He was found to be a
Sardar.
When he was questioned. He explained that there was a man
standing on the track and he was not moving from there even after
lots of
honks etc.
Then authorities questioned : Sardarji are you mad! just
to save lifeof one person you put life of so many passengers under
danger. You should have run over that person .

Sardar said :
Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running