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  1. #1
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    Default Human Fact Files

    [1] If you are right handed, you will tend to chew your food on your right side. If you are left handed, you will tend to chew your food on your left side

    [2] If you stop getting thirsty, you need to drink more water. For when a human body is dehydrated, its thirst mechanism shuts off.

    [3] Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying.

    [4] Your tongue is germ free only if it is pink. If it is white there is a thin film of bacteria on it.

    [5] The Mercedes-Benz motto is 'Das Beste oder Nichts' meaning 'the best or nothing'.

    [6] The Titanic was the first ship to use the SOS signal.

    [7] The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing.

    [8] The average person who stops smoking requires one hour less sleep a night.

    [9] Laughing lowers levels of stress hormones and strengthens the immune system. Six-year-olds laugh an average of 300 times a day. Adults only laugh 15 to 100 times a day.

    [10] Frank Perdue's chicken slogan, "It takes a strong man to make a tender chicken" was translated into Spanish as "it takes an aroused man to make a chicken affectionate."

    [11] Dalmatians are born without spots.

    [12] Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

    [13] The 'v' in the name of a court case does not stand for 'versus', but for 'and' (in civil proceedings] or 'against' (in criminal proceedings]

    [14] Men's shirts have the buttons on the right, but women's shirts have the buttons on the left

    [15] The owl is the only bird to drop its upper eyelid to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids

    [16] The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it's already been digested by a bee

    [17] Roosters cannot crow if they cannot extend their necks

    [18] The color blue has a calming effect. It causes the brain to release calming hormones

    [19] Every time you sneeze some of your brain cells die

    [20] Your left lung is smaller than your right lung to make room for your heart

    [21] The verb "cleave" is the only English word with two synonyms which are antonyms of each other: adhere and separate

    [22] When you blush, the lining of your stomach also turns red

    [23] When Hippos are upset, their sweat turns red

    [24] The first Harley Davidson motorcycle was built in 1903, and used a tomato can for a carburetor

    [25] The lion that roars in the MGM logo is named Volney

    [26] Google is actually the common name for a number with a million zeros

    [27] Switching letters is called spoonerism. For example, saying jag of Flapan, instead of flag of Japan

    [28] It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it

    [29] The attachment of the human skin to muscles is what causes dimples

    [30] There are 1,792 steps to the top of the Eiffel Tower

    [31] The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting

    [32] Human hair and fingernails continue to grow after death

    [33] It takes about 20 seconds for a red blood cell to circle the whole body

    [34] The plastic things on the end of shoelaces are called aglets

    [35] Most soccer players run 7 miles in a game

    [36] The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air

    [37] Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die

    [38] In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch (and make it look like it is smiling.)

    [39] Colgate faced big obstacle marketing toothpaste in Spanish speaking countries. Colgate translates into the command "go hang yourself."

    [40] The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot

    [41] Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

    [42] The average person laughs 13 times a day

    [43] Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru(See no evil), Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru(Speak no evil)

    [44] Women blink nearly twice as much as men

    [45] German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog

    [46] Large kangaroos cover more than 30 feet with each jump

    [47] Whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

    [48] Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn. Suddenly the pigs, all two thousand of them, escaped through a broken fence and stampeded, trampling the two hapless protesters to death

    [49] If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural cause.

    [50] The human heart creates enough pressure while pumping to squirt blood 30 feet!!
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  2. #2
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    Default

    OFFICER----------------WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

    CANDIDATE-----------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER----------------TELL ME PROPERLY

    CANDIDATE---------------MOHAN PAL SIR

    OFFICER--------------YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

    CANDIDATE----------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER-------------WHAT DOSE THAT MEAN ?

    CANDIDATE-------------MANMOHAN PAL SIR

    OFFICER-------------YOUR NATIVE PLACE

    CANDIDATE--------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER------------IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

    CANDIDATE-------------NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR

    OFFICER------------WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?

    CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER------------(ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

    CANDIDATE------------METRIC PASS

    OFFICER-------------WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

    CANDIDATE------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER------------AND WHAT DOSE THAT MEAN ?

    CANDIDATE-------------MONEY PROBLEM SIR

    OFFICER------------DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

    CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

    OFFICER------------EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

    CANDIDATE----------MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

    OFFICER-------------THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

    CANDIDATE---------- -M P. SIR

    OFFICER----------------WHAT IS IT NOW

    CANDIDATE-------------MY PERFORMANCE....?

    OFFICER----------------M P!!!!

    CANDIDATE------------WHAT IS THAT SIR

    OFFICER--------------MENTALLY PUNCTURED
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  3. #3
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    Default

    SMS Jokes

    • Nurse came out with the newborn kid, Santa rushed 2 her & after seeing the kid he shouted, PUTTAR hua PUTTAR. She slapped him: Leave my finger, u fool, It's a gal

    • Jeeto: If I die what'll you do?Santa: I may also die.Jeeto: Why?Santa: Some time too much of happiness can also kill a man.

    • Teacher: Pappu, TAMSO MA JYOTIR GAMYA" shloka ka kya arth hai?Pappu: Tum so jayo maa, mein Jyoti ke pass ja raha hoon.

    • Santa went out to buy an Indian flag. The shop owner gave him the flag. Guess what did he ask next...Ismein aur colour dikhayiye.

    • Santa Banta zid kar rahe c monkey dekhan di... so tuhade ghar da address dita hai. Yaar 2-4 tapusian maar ke dikha deo bichare khush ho jaan ge.

    • Santa: What's difference between man & Superman?Pappu: Man wears underwear under the trouser & superman wears it over the trouser.

    • Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?

    • Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?Santa: Birla cement.Banta: Kyun?Santa: Kyunki is Cement mein jaan hai.

    • Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye the.Banta: Kya bataoon, sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost... 1 bottle, aur woh teeno kambhakt peeten nahin.

    • Santa: Why Americans stop printing stamps with photo of Pamela Anderson?Banta: Coz people started licking the wrong side of it for pasting them on the envelopes
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  4. #4
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    • Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped - paude thay, Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudon ko pani dal.Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.

    • Pappu while filling up a form: What should I write against mother tongue.?Santa: Very long.....!

    • Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

    • Santa: Sir hun meri salary wada diyo, mera vyah ho gaye hai.Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi

    • Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.Santa: Who r u? Girl: Seeta here.Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

    • Banta asked Santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?Santa: Very simple, because he is PM not AM

    • An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?Santa: Gud evening, we open the zip and do.

    • Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey Bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?Banta: Apple khane.Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.Banta: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hoon.

    • Pappu, while filling up a form: Dad, what should I write against mother tongue.?Santa: Very long!


    • Santa falls in luv with a nurse... After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: "I luv u sister."
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  5. #5
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    Default


    STRANGE BUT TRUE
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Year 1981

    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes
    4. Pope Died

    Year 2005

    1. Prince Charles got married
    2. Liverpool crowned Champions of Europe
    3. Australia lost the Ashes
    4. Pope Died

    In future, if Prince Charles decides to re-marry and Liverpool wins another European crown.... someone please warn the Australian cricket side and the Pope!
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  6. #6
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    Default True but funny

    Here’s one, but it’s kind of long, so you’ll have to visit this link to view it. It’s hilarious! Once you click on the link, please enter Search Code 7941. Ha ha!

    http://www.webfilehost.com/index.php...upload&id=7941

    :lol:

  7. #7
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    Default

    Waw, that's nice, but there are som SMS jokes i couldn't understand it.

  8. #8
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    Default excellent

    mp is the best mp joke

  9. #9
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    Default Number 11

    Thats the ticket LOL

  10. #10
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    Default

    thanks for the jokes Nokia Sir. I didn't understand the SMS jokes. Can u pls post it in english.

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