>>>>> One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his
>> sweatshirt.
>>>>> Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to
>> me,"What
>>>>> setting do I use on the washing machine?" "It depends," I replied.
>> "What
>>>>> does it say on your shirt?" He yelled back, "University of
>> Oklahoma."
>>>>> And they say blondes are dumb...
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> A couple is lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the
>>>>> happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you..."
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> "It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack said as he stepped
>> out
>>>>> of the shower, "Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think
>> if I
>>>>> mowed the lawn like this?" "Probably that I married you for your
>> money,"
>>>>> she replied.
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> He said - What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave
>>>>> you? She said - Turn sideways and look in the mirror
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
>>>>> A: A rumour
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th
>>>>> wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them
>> and
>>>>> said that because they had been so good that each one of them could
>> have
>>>>> one wish.
>>>>>
>>>>> The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
>> Whoosh!
>>>>> Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.
>>>>>
>>>>> The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...
>>>>> Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!
>>>>>
>>>>> Gotta love that fairy!
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> A PRAYER....
>>>>>
>>>>> Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
>>>>> Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods.
>>>>> Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
>>>>>
>>>>> AMEN
>>>>>
>>>>> ------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: Why do little boys whine?
>>>>> A: They are practicing to be men.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
>>>>> A: Trustworthy.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
>> and
>>>>> calling your name?
>>>>> A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
>>>>> A: Because not one will stop and ask directions.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
>>>>> A: To stop the snoring before it starts.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
>>>>> A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: What is the difference between men and women?
>>>>> A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
>> every
>>>>> woman to satisfy his one need.
>>>>>
>>>>> Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
>>>>> A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
>>>>>
>>>>> Send this to five bright, funny women you know and make their day!
>>>>>
>>>>> And send this to five bright men who have enough sense of humor to
>> take
>>>>> it!


Enjoy
Lou
www.mobilewales.co.uk