Kids Jokes {Part 2} Girl Jokes -- Clean & Cute

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new section:
Our Darling Daughter
Our daughter...apple of our eye !

Mary: Dad, that dentist wasn't painless like he advertised.
Father: Did he hurt you Mary ?
Mary: No, but he sure did scream when I bit his finger.

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Mum: Jenny, how can you practice your trumpet and listen to the radio at the same time ?
Jenny: I have two ears

School Doctor to Parent: I'm afraid your daughter needs glasses.
Parent: How can you tell ?
School Doctor: By the way she came in through the window.

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Mary arrived home from school covered in spots. 'Whatever's the matter ?' asked her mother.
'I don't know,' replied Mary, 'but the teacher thinks I may have caught decimals.'

Mother: Did you get a good place in the geography test ?
Daughter: Yes, Mum, I sat next to the cleverest kid in the class.

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Mother: I told you not eat cake before supper.
Daughter: But, Mum, it's part of my homework. 'If you take an eighth of a cake from a whole cake, how much is left.

Mother: What do you mean, the school must be haunted ?
Daughter: Well, the principal kept going on about the school spirit.

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'But she's so young to get married,' sobbed Diana's mother, 'only seventeen'
'Try not to cry about it,' said her husband soothingly. 'Think of it not as losing a daughter but as gaining a bathroom.

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Mrs Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After all the excitement was over Karne said to her mother, 'why did the bride change her mind, Mummy ?'
'How do you mean, change her mind?' asked Mrs Jones.
'Well,' said Karen, 'she went into the church with one man and came out with another.'

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Mum: Jackie, go outside and play with your whistle. Your father can't read his paper.
Jackie: Wow, I'm only eight and I can read it

My girlfriend has a slight impediment in her speech. Every so often, she has to stop to breathe.

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ames: I call my girlfriend Peach.
John: Because she's beautiful.
James: No, because she's got a heart of stone.

A monster walked into a store selling dress fabrics and said, 'I'd like six yards of pink satin for my girlfriend.'
'It's satin, sir, not Satan,' said the clerk. 'Satan is something that looks like the devil.'
'Oh,' said the monster, ' you know my girlfriend ?'

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When Wally Witherspoon proposed to his girlfriend she said, ' I love the simple things in life, Wally, but I don't want one of them for a husband.'

I got a gold watch for my girlfriend.
I wish I could make a trade like that!

'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'

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What did the Wizard say to his witch girlfriend ?
Hello gore-juice.

What did the zombie's friend say when he introduced him to his girlfriend ?
Good grief ! where did you dig her up from

What does a zombie say when he gets a letter from his girlfriend ?
It's a dead letter day.