ames: I call my girlfriend Peach.
John: Because she's beautiful.
James: No, because she's got a heart of stone.

A monster walked into a store selling dress fabrics and said, 'I'd like six yards of pink satin for my girlfriend.'
'It's satin, sir, not Satan,' said the clerk. 'Satan is something that looks like the devil.'
'Oh,' said the monster, ' you know my girlfriend ?'