When Wally Witherspoon proposed to his girlfriend she said, ' I love the simple things in life, Wally, but I don't want one of them for a husband.'

I got a gold watch for my girlfriend.
I wish I could make a trade like that!

'It's a pity you've gone on hunger strike,' said the convict's girlfriend on visiting day. 'Why ?' 'I've put a file in your cake.'